The hot rumor out there today is that Chris Paul has demanded to be traded…to one of three teams of his choosing. According to the CBS Sports,

Paul’s list of preferred destinations consists of the Knicks, Magic and Lakers, and members of his inner circle already have sent word to the Hornets of his desire to be traded to one of those teams, sources say. If Paul has his way, he’s played his last game in a Hornets jersey.

So you see what he’s done there? No? Well lets look at the three teams he’s chosen and then I’ll tell you where I think he really wants to go.

The Lakers have Kobe and Gasol, the Magic have Dwight Howard and the Knicks have Amare Stoudemire to go with Mike D’Antoni’s run and gun offense where Paul would fit in perfectly. The Lakers and the Magic probably can’t afford to pull this trade off, not enough cap room and not enough players to trade away.

The Knicks, who cleared away a ton of salary in an attempt to get Lebron James or Dwayne Wade to go with Stoudemire haven’t killed their cap even with the Amare signing. They have the cap space, they have trade pieces, they have a big time city, a big time arena in Madison Square Garden, a big time media market and most of all…he’d be the star.

Stoudemire would pick up right where he left off with Steve Nash if Chris Paul was leading the offense and getting him the ball. In turn, making Stoudemire look good will only make Paul look better. He won’t be the second fiddle or a star in a small market. He will be the number one basketball player in New York City and he’ll probably turn the team into a winner immediately making him the savior of New York basketball.

If I were a betting man, and I am, I am putting my money on the New York Knicks being the place Paul really wants to go. If Paul puts up enough of a hissy fit, it actually might happen.

The Knicks can’t seem to get it right. Every correct decision is followed by two stupid ones. Whether encouraging a culture of sexual harassment under Isiah or unsubstantiated allegations of racism against useless players, the team can’t seem to avoid embarassing situations. Add ethnic stereotyping to the mix.

Rookie Danilo Gallinari is not happy with the Knicks for, how do we say, resorting to ethnic stereotypes when he’s on the floor.

After each of his four baskets, the Knicks’ long-time public address announcer Mike Walczewski, using a thick Italian accent, said “Daneeelo Gal-lin-ar-ay” and then the Italian songs “Volare” or “That’s Amore” were played.

Gallinari was not amused. Even head coach Mike D’Antoni gave the scorer’s table a WTF look when the music was played. Italian journalists were not pleased either. They’re definitely not going to like it when the team has its employees act out scenes from the Godfather and Super Mario Kart.

You can get it, boy! Now gimme dat sweet ‘nilla lovin’!

When Isiah Thomas left the Knicks, Eddy Curry was but the learner. Now he could be the master of sexual harassment. When the big man tells you to take care of the kid, you better drop to those knees as David Kuchinsky found out.

Curry is being sued by Kuchinsky, his former driver, who claims that he is owed back pay and expenses. Oh he also claims that Curry tried to get some sex on the side too.

The stunning court papers claim Curry, a married father of three, repeatedly approached chauffeur David Kuchinsky “in the nude,” allegedly telling him, “Look at me, Dave, look” and “Come and touch it, Dave.”

Curry also made Kuchinsky perform “humiliating tasks outside the scope of his employment, such as cleaning up and removing dirty towels [Curry had ejaculated into] so that his wife would not see them,” the Manhattan federal court suit says.

“Ja, you will love it when you touch it.” It gets better. Add a few racial slurs and some Plaxico Burress/Jayson Williams gunplay and we’ve got ourselves a good old fashioned Knicks sexual harrassment party.

And in a disturbing episode reminiscent of some of the evidence in the manslaughter case against former Nets star Jayson Williams, Kuchinsky further claims in his suit that Curry pointed a “fully loaded” gun at him on at least two separate occasions to keep him from complaining about his treatment.

“Look, I have one in the chamber,” Curry allegedly said.

Sit your $5 ass down before I make change. That’s so Nino Brown. It’s not clear whether gun should be in quotes as well. Curry could have been talking about his “love gun” or the mayonnaise gun he keeps in a shoulder holster that compliments the Roy Rogers holster of fries he always keeps at his side.

Of course, nothing has been proven so we can’t assume Curry is guilty unlike Isiah who we all knew was guilty from the jump. For the record, he and his lawyer deny the allegations.

His lawyer, Kelly Saindon, denied all of Kuchinsky’s allegations, calling them “absolutely untrue,” and saying he began making a series of claims for unpaid wages several months ago, upping the ante each time.

Saindon said Curry took a chance on hiring Kuchinsky despite a criminal record that includes a three-year prison sentence for a 1992 burglary in New Jersey. He also got three years’ probation in a 2004 resisting-arrest case in the Garden State, records show.

These accusations seem like the actions of a motivated sexual harasser and that makes us skeptical. Curry is world-renowned for his laziness and it’s hard to believe he could get the energy to pursue his driver with such determination. He only works this hard at the Times Square Olive Garden when he’s testing the limits of the Never-Ending Pasta Bowl.

Kuchinsky’s lawyer, Matt Blit might want to be careful. Anucha Browne Sanders ended up settling for over $11 million. Kuchinsky is suing for what amounts to barely $100,000 dollars. He might end up settling for free coffee.

Things are going from stupid to ridiculous for Stephon Marbury. Not only has he been banished by his team but now he’s getting punked by the Swiss who are known for their humor.

Several people claiming to be Swiss bankers with connections to Real Madrid attempted to recruit Starbury to play for the Spanish giants. It turns out they were fakers. He didn’t find this out before he returned calls and emails on Saturday. Now he’s considering turning their information over to the law.

The pranksters also contacted the Post, AP and the New York Times to promote Starbury’s imminent move to Real and Real president Ramon Calderon’s contacts with Donnie Walsh. Too bad none of it was true. Starbury playing in Spain would make for great reality TV. We might get a Kwame Brown moment where he blows up when he can’t get Spanish Fly at a restaurant.

In response to the NY Knicks and Starbury not coming to a buyout agreement, leaving Marbury suspended and still waiting for the Knicks to come up with some plan of action Marbury fired his mout off like a howtizer in a firefight with a panzer about everything and everyone. The worst quote of them all follows. I’m not exactly sure where Stephon Marbury was coming up with this analogy for his teammates badmouthing him in the press, its a bit of an extreme quote for sure, as quotes always are when they compare the horrors of war with the world of sport.

“When things got bad and then worse, guys like Quentin Richardson say, ‘I don’t consider him a teammate. He let his teammates out to dry.’ He didn’t care I was his teammate when I was banished. They left me out for dead. It’s like we’re in a foxhole and I’m facing the other way. If I got shot in the head, at least you want to get shot by the enemy. I got shot in the head by my own guys in my foxhole. And they didn’t even give me an honorable death.”

Seriously? An “honorable death”? What the hell is this crazy bastard talking about? What happened to getting stabbed in the back? Why’d he have to take it to the foxhole/shot in the head/honorable death level? How does anyone ever legitimately compare basketball to death and war anyway? People get enough crap about that when they do it for football, but this might be the first time I’ve ever heard anyone equate any part of the sport of basketball to war.

Honestly, I do not know which one I want more. A team to take Starbury off the Knicks hands so we can hear him interviewed every single night in hopes of another ignorant quote such as this or the Knicks to keep fucking with him so that he gets angrier and angrier so that his next quote will make this quote seem tame in comparison. I can just see him going after Mike D’Antoni and invoking Josef “Angel of Death” Mengele or something.

Via NY Post