We already know that Vince Wilfork’s** wife Bianca almost missed their wedding because she was up $40,000 in roulette while in Vegas. There’s also this nugget about her from Sunday’s Pats-Jets game.
“She was wearing a jersey with No. 75 on it, with “Wifey” on the back. Hundreds of red and clear Swarovski crystals were stitched into the jersey letters and numbering.“
Nothing says school on a Saturday like a blinged out jersey with the name “Wifey” on the back.
** Woolfork if you’re Norm!.
The NFL season is underway with fans across the nation frothing at the mouth for every last bit of news about their favorite teams, heading out to training camps in the July heat and stocking up on stupid, insane memorabilia that they think proves their loyalty to a team and league which cares only about the money they give them. Which brings me to this…there are some NFL products out there that I know the vast majority of people out there would never buy…ever. I make no apologies for my love (hate) of the Washington Redskins, but that doesn’t mean I would buy anything with a logo slapped on it. I have a couple t-shirts, a coffee mug and a jersey for the late Sean Taylor…thats it. Does anyone need more? There is a whole lot of crap out there and we’re gonna show you the worst of the NFL merchandise that you can purchase for this upcoming football season:
The NFL $3000 Purse:
I honestly cannot believe I just wrote that but there are three thousand dollar NFL licenced purses that you can buy that feature over 5,300 Swarovski crystals to give them all sorts of bling. My mouth is agape. Although if that purse is too pricey, you can always pick up the $2449 football shaped Swarovski crystal purse. Yes, that is far more practical.
The NFL Office Chair:
I’m not sure what office you work in, but mine does not allow me to spend $400 on an office chair just because it has the team colors and logo of my favorite franchise. While I am sure it’s plenty ergonomic, this is just an utter waste of resources here. The office manager would be throwing a fit when I tried to write this off…and by office manager, I mean the woman I live with who would force me to sleep in that chair because I spent $400 on it instead of say, a new comforter set for our bed.
The NFL Boiler:
A fucking boiler? Is there no limit to what the NFL will license it’s name out to? Jesus Christ. The last thing I want to think about when I’m cooking up a pot roast is how my team is going to cope with a 2 game losing streak…oh wait, its not even made for cooking! If you look at the description, this is just a glorified copper basket. You’re supposed to use it for firewood or to fill with ice for your favorite beverage…for $199. Shit, for 200 bucks, this thing better start the fire, cook me dinner and hand me my favorite beverage.
The NFL “Creepiest Sleeping Bag Ever“:
“Ya sure, I’ll be in bed in a sec hon, I’ma just gonna to check on lil’ Brett…AH JESUS CHRIST! Lil’ Brett, what da hell are ya doin’ tah your sleeping bag???” Yea this thing isn’t creepy. When I have kids, I want them all to cuddle in bed next to their favorite Packer…not named Mark Chmura. As a side joke, the bag is not waterproof, insert your own here.
The NFL Watch:
Personally, I have no hesitation in dropping $1500 on a watch made by a company that I’ve never heard of, just so long as it has the official NFL seal of approval. That means it’s quality right there. Screw Tag or Rolex or Breitling, NFL is tha shit son. Everyone I know will be jealous of my fifteen hundred dollar watch with gold accents (ACCENTS?) and ceramic dial (CERAMIC???) not to mention the diamonds at the 12, 3, 6 and 9 time marks. Oh yea…bling bling son, bling bling.
NFL Pool Chlorinators:
Well this is just logical isn’t it?
The NFL “We Don’t Support Any Religion But Christianity” Advent Calendar:
Lest thee wonder which religion is the official religion of the NFL, wonder no longer.
The NFL Cufflinks:
When I rock a fine suit, the first thing I want people to see when they see me is what NFL football team I root for. Hell yea! This will be perfect for the next office party.
NFL Autographed Ryan Leaf Photo:
Yea, that was a little mean.
Patriots running back Kevin Faulk was issued a misdemeanor summons, not arrested, last friday for possession of 4 marijuana cigarettes in his pocket when he was searched going into the suites of the Lafayette Cajundome for a Lil Wayne concert. I hear ya Kev, if i was going to a Lil’ Wayne show i’d sure want to be as blitzed out of my mind while sitting there, but son, you gotta protect your stash a little better than that! There are about a million ways to hide that herb man, how on earth are you gonna allow yourself to get caught?
Didn’t you see everyone getting searched before you in line? Why didn’t you get out of line and hide that shit in your shoe or something at the least?? They wont make you take your damn shoes off there, this isnt the TSA! Better yet, why the hell didn’t you just smoke up before hand, then go backstage in the middle of the show and smoke up with his crew? You know he was carrying back there, he’s Lil’ Damn Wayne and you’re a Patriots running back! People…learn from this lesson, don’t be like Kevin Faulk, learn to smoke right if you must smoke at all.
From SeacoastOnline
Tecmo bowl will never leave us, ever. These guys have whipped up a Tecmo Bowl representation of the last 2 plays that really counted from the Giants Super Bowl win. We’ve got Eli & David Tyree’s “The Play” or “The Escape” or “The Catch II” or whatever you want to call it, as well as Plaxico’s touchdown catch to give the Giants the win. All set, beautifully, to a Radiohead soundtrack. Well done peoples. You deserve an award. Not from us, but from someone that actually makes money off their website.
David Tyree is the real hero in this game. That jump ball catch, on 3rd and 5 with less than 1:15, to go, thrown by a scrambling for his life Eli Manning and caught on his head with Rodney Harrison draped all over him was one of the best moments in Super Bowl history. That play set up, what proved to be, the winning touchdown of the game just four players later with the Giants beating the Patriots 17-14. That says nothing of him catching the first touchdown pass of the game for the Giants and giving them a 10-7 lead. He played one great game but that catch will be remembered with some of the all time great plays of Super Bowls.
The video of it (while it’s up) is below, but here’s the quotes from some Giants and Patriots players, one coach and a brother that sums the catch all up:
“David Tyree, that’s all you have to say.” It was just a great catch by David Tyree. I found a way to get loose and just really threw it up. He made an unbelievable catch and saved the game.” – Eli Manning
“Unbelievable, in Friday’s practice, he was dropping everything.” - Amani Toomer
“I don’t know that there’s ever been a bigger play in the Super Bowl than that play.” – Tom Coughlin
“He made a hell of a play.” – Asante Samuel
“Eli’s pass to Tyree, I think, was one of the greatest plays of all time. You always see Swann’s catch.” Peyton Manning
Here’s the video:
