If you’re going to impersonate someone at their place of employment, it’s probably good to pick a place where the employees aren’t recognizable. Someone should given Ronald Higgins that nugget before he decided to steal a Dodgers uniform at Dodger Stadium and impersonate a player.
Higgins was nailed after being seen on the field “holding a glove with two balls”. Take that as you will.
Higgins allegedly identified himself as a Dodgers player, but the guard recognized him from an earlier incident and called police.
Prosecutors say Higgins’ clothes were later found in the bat boys’ locker room. It was not immediately clear where he got the uniform.
Several things. First, I hope he really identified himself as “Dodgers Player” when asked about his identity.
“Hey what the hell are you doing? Who are you?”
“Why I’m Mann … I mean Dodgers Player. I just got called up from … from … um the Pasadena 405s. Yeah that’s it.”
Second, what the hell were his clothes doing in the bat boys’ locker room? Did he get his uniform from there? Did he try to squeeze into a small uniform that said Batboy on the back? “Oh my full name is Dodgers Player Batboy. I seem to have had an overnight growth spurt.”
Maybe we shouldn’t be too hard on Higgins. He’s more harmless than that crazy guy who jacks subway trains and buses. If he was impersonating a Mets player, Jerry Manuel would probably throw him in the bullpen. He’d probably have a higher batting average than Andruw Jones. He’d definitely cost less. He should go to DC and impersonate a Nats player. They need all the help they can get.