England manager Fabio Capello called Wayne Bridge to tell him that John Terry had lost the England captain’s armband. He asked him to look under his bed. Bam!

The terrace chants, songs and jokes are heating up as more details begin to emerge from Terrygate. The latest reports may actually help Terry save his job as captain. What could save his armband besides proof that he didn’t have an affair with the former nightclub worker? It turns out that he wasn’t the only Chelsea player to have a go at Bridgey’s ex.

The Sun reports that former players Eidur Gudjohnsen, Adrian Mutu and one unnamed player also ran up in Perroncel while she was working at a nightclub frequented by Chelsea players. Terry’s just getting sloppy fifths. Gudjohnsen allegedly warned Bridge about Perroncel’s super-WAG/ho-ish intentions but he didn’t listen. Whoa, hold up…

The Mail claims that the number is up to seven as two CURRENT Chelsea players have been identified as also being Perroncel dick bandits. They remain unnamed for now. Don’t be surprised to learn that mascot Stamford the Lion also made sweet love to her.

Bridge might want to consider a paternity test to make sure he’s the father of their child. This sounds like a job for Maury. 

Time to cleanse the athletic palate after that “ignance”. Someone might want to tell LeBron James to talk to Tracy McGrady about getting involved. Ira Newble didn’t have much luck but maybe McGrady can do better.

The Daily News has an interesting piece about McGrady’s visit to Darfur where he was able to get a first-hand view of the effects of genocide. He followed up his visit with an initiative to link American and African schools and “modernize education in war zones”.

It’s great to see ballers getting involved whether it’s in their community or other places of need instead of thinking “the Chinese buy shoes too”. Maybe we’ll cut T-Mac some slack the next time he gets injured which should be right about…..now. We kid. We kid. Here’s some video of him discussing his initiative.

Incidentally, LeBron said the criticism of him for not signing Newble’s letter to the Chinese government was unwarranted. He said he was going to get the word out about the Darfur situation after learning more about it. Don’t wait up. If it’s not the shoe companies, it’s the NBA keeping dissent down. Just ask Etan Thomas and Craig Hodges.

Someone shouldn’t be forced to become a spokesman and activist for every injustice out there because of their prominence but there’s a big difference between being outspoken and signing a letter. The people around LeBron do him no favors by telling him to keep his head down in the sand. There is a balance that can be achieved in protecting one’s financial interests and taking a stand where the right side is clear. There are also many ways to take a stand or make a statement without being in the forefront of an issue if there’s a great deal at stake personally or financially. He’s still young. Hopefully he’ll figure that out sooner than later.

I imagine that if you have as much money as these guys probably do, you too can hire Michael Jordan to come to a gym and school your ass in some one-on-one. It appears as if John Rogers, CEO of Ariel Investments, does have a slight bit of game however…and by game I mean he can actually make an uncontested layup. I just get the feeling here that Jordan is just playing the side-show freak role. This cannot be fun for him, seems like he’s just whoring himself out for more cash to go out with Oak in Vegas. Kind of sad what Jordan has become.

The NFL season is underway with fans across the nation frothing at the mouth for every last bit of news about their favorite teams, heading out to training camps in the July heat and stocking up on stupid, insane memorabilia that they think proves their loyalty to a team and league which cares only about the money they give them. Which brings me to this…there are some NFL products out there that I know the vast majority of people out there would never buy…ever. I make no apologies for my love (hate) of the Washington Redskins, but that doesn’t mean I would buy anything with a logo slapped on it. I have a couple t-shirts, a coffee mug and a jersey for the late Sean Taylor…thats it. Does anyone need more? There is a whole lot of crap out there and we’re gonna show you the worst of the NFL merchandise that you can purchase for this upcoming football season:

The NFL $3000 Purse:
I honestly cannot believe I just wrote that but there are three thousand dollar NFL licenced purses that you can buy that feature over 5,300 Swarovski crystals to give them all sorts of bling. My mouth is agape. Although if that purse is too pricey, you can always pick up the $2449 football shaped Swarovski crystal purse. Yes, that is far more practical.

The NFL Office Chair:
I’m not sure what office you work in, but mine does not allow me to spend $400 on an office chair just because it has the team colors and logo of my favorite franchise. While I am sure it’s plenty ergonomic, this is just an utter waste of resources here. The office manager would be throwing a fit when I tried to write this off…and by office manager, I mean the woman I live with who would force me to sleep in that chair because I spent $400 on it instead of say, a new comforter set for our bed.
The NFL Boiler:
A fucking boiler? Is there no limit to what the NFL will license it’s name out to? Jesus Christ. The last thing I want to think about when I’m cooking up a pot roast is how my team is going to cope with a 2 game losing streak…oh wait, its not even made for cooking! If you look at the description, this is just a glorified copper basket. You’re supposed to use it for firewood or to fill with ice for your favorite beverage…for $199. Shit, for 200 bucks, this thing better start the fire, cook me dinner and hand me my favorite beverage.

The NFL “Creepiest Sleeping Bag Ever“:
“Ya sure, I’ll be in bed in a sec hon, I’ma just gonna to check on lil’ Brett…AH JESUS CHRIST! Lil’ Brett, what da hell are ya doin’ tah your sleeping bag???” Yea this thing isn’t creepy. When I have kids, I want them all to cuddle in bed next to their favorite Packer…not named Mark Chmura. As a side joke, the bag is not waterproof, insert your own here.

The NFL Watch:
Personally, I have no hesitation in dropping $1500 on a watch made by a company that I’ve never heard of, just so long as it has the official NFL seal of approval. That means it’s quality right there. Screw Tag or Rolex or Breitling, NFL is tha shit son. Everyone I know will be jealous of my fifteen hundred dollar watch with gold accents (ACCENTS?) and ceramic dial (CERAMIC???) not to mention the diamonds at the 12, 3, 6 and 9 time marks. Oh yea…bling bling son, bling bling.
NFL Pool Chlorinators:
Well this is just logical isn’t it?

The NFL “We Don’t Support Any Religion But Christianity” Advent Calendar:
Lest thee wonder which religion is the official religion of the NFL, wonder no longer.
The NFL Cufflinks:
When I rock a fine suit, the first thing I want people to see when they see me is what NFL football team I root for. Hell yea! This will be perfect for the next office party.

NFL Autographed Ryan Leaf Photo:
Yea, that was a little mean.

If you want to know what reparations can do, just follow Cristian Ronaldo. Slave du jour Ronaldo is a man about town. He keeps his pimp limp strong even when he’s on crutches. He may an idiot and douchebag when it comes to handling his transfer to Real Madrid but even he’s smart enough to avoid the walking STD that is Paris Hilton.

Ronaldo was accosted by Hilton at Villa on Wednesday night. He recently broke up with Nereida Gallardo whose pictures you couldn’t have avoided if you tried over the past month. Lady Herpes made for him like Don Vito on an underage girl.

A source said: ‘Paris was all over him. The moment he arrived, she went over to his private table.

‘At one point, she pushed her chest together and made a point of trying to snuggle up against him.

‘But Ronaldo clearly wasn’t interested in Paris. He turned his back on her.’

What’s your sign? Stop sign, muthafucka! I’m not sure what the soccer equivalent of the Heisman is called but this has to be it. He probably saw the flies hovering around her nether regions and recoiled in horror.

Maybe he’s smarter than he lets on. Getting with Paris would definitely drop his transfer value. Who knows how many weeks he would spend out of action thanks to an STD cocktail that rivals a komodo dragon’s saliva? Too bad Eric Djemba Djemba wasn’t around to clean up the mess. He could use the money.