Guess which perpetually injured quarterback who has trouble throwing the ball more than 30 yards wants back on an NFL field? Chad Pennington of course! Even more shocking is that the Dolphins wouldn’t mind him back as an insurance option for Chad Henne, but they need to see if he can actually throw a 15 yard out route first. That’s right, they aren’t sure if he can hit a 15 yard out route because his arm/shoulder have been so shredded throughout his career. Isn’t that what you want in a backup quarterback?

Lets take a look at Chad’s injury history in his 9 seasons of pro football real quick:

• 2002 – Fracture/dislocation on his left (non-throwing) hand (missed 6 games)
• 2004 – Injured right rotator cuff (missed 4 games)
• Feb  2005 – Surgery to repair substantial tear in the right rotator cuff, as well as a large bone spur.
• Sept 2005 – Injured right rotator cuff.
• Oct  2005 – Surgery to repair his right rotator cuff.
• 2007 – High ankle sprain (missed 1 game); benched after 8 games.
• Sept 2009 – Injured right shoulder.
• Oct  2009 – Surgery to repair labrum tear and shoulder capsule.

Wow…ok. If this was baseball, this guy would only be tossing balls for a rec league softball team. A guy who never had much arm strength to begin with, coming off his 3rd shoulder surgery, who has only played in 16 games twice in his career, seriously wants to give it another go? I dont want to be the bearer of bad news but, c’mon, read the tea leaves Chad.

Pennington needs to listen to his body more than his heart. He may have the desire to play still, but his body has already told him he just shouldn’t do it.

From Miami Herald

Someone needs to tell the Miami Dolphins they’re doing it wrong. Majority owner Stephen Ross should probably spend less time worrying about the halftime entertainment. He named the stadium after Jimmy Buffett’s Land Shark beer and now Gloria Estefan and her husband Emilio are coming aboard as minority owners. Why they gotta get all racialist? Why can’t they just be owners? Damn that’s messed up.

Both parties refuse to confirm the rumor but a major announcement will be made at LandShark Stadium this Thursday. Ross and the Estefans will be in attendance. Gloria was in Nashville on Monday recording a new version of “Are You Ready For Some Football” with Hank Williams Jr. to be used this season on Monday Night Football.

Why stop with Jimmy Buffett and the Estefans? Think of the possibilities. Gloria likes to count to four and so does Pitbull. He’ll keep the rowdy fan(s) in check (1:05). Spaulding would want a little something for the negroes too.** Bring Trick Daddy and Uncle Luke on board. They’ve worked together (NSFW language) in the past. Trick’s a regular guest on Dan LeBatard’s local radio show and Luke runs Miami Hurricane football so they both have professional sports cred. Throw in Flo-Rida and oh hot damn, the Dolphins have themselves one hell of an owners group. It’s not going to be Bill Parcells’ jam when he has to hit Flo-Rida up for money to buy another mediocre receiver. “Fine. I can do that, playa. But first put on these Apple Bottom jeans and boots with the fur. I wanna see them moobs bounce! Hit the floor! Shawty, get low low low low! Now throw them hands up in the ayer! Ayer!” A tear will run down Parcells’ cheek like that Indian on the side of the road. It’s funny because it could happen.

**That’s a reference to a line in Caddyshack so don’t start. Talk to Spaulding, Judge Smails or someone else who doesn’t care that you didn’t get it.

Don’t go kicking balls over Joey Porter when he’s warming up. He’s liable to wreck your quarterback. It wasn’t enough for Joey to talk shit about Matt Cassel. He wanted the Patriots to know he was for real when he talked about whuppin’ that ass. Apparently the kickers didn’t believe him.

As his Dolphins stretched on their side of midfield, Porter said the Patriots kickers and some coaches walked through the team’s stretching lines. Chris Hanson then began punting the ball from Miami’s end zone over the rows of Miami players.

Joey wasn’t having any of that.

“I’ve been playing in the league for 10 years and I feel like I’ve done some crazy things, but I never did that,” Porter said. “You can’t walk right down the middle of somebody’s stretch and start kicking out of the end zone like we’re not even here, like they had the whole 100 yards. They just didn’t want their 50, they wanted our 50, too.”

“They knew what it was going to do to me,” Porter said. “It was going to get me fired up. I don’t know if it was an attempt to get me thrown out of the game, but I was smart enough to keep my cool. It was just very disrespectful.”

That’s not crazy. That’s just sick. What kind of person, let alone a kicker, would do something fucked up like that? Channing “Snow White” Crowder doesn’t get it either.

“He hates stuff like that. They got him going. Why would they do that? He’s already crazy, and they just poured fuel on it.”

Baring his belly at the opposing team during warmups isn’t provocative. Getting in the way of bullets outside of bars or stomping Levi Jones in a casino isn’t crazy either. Good thing we have Joey Porter to stay cool and make sense of things in this messed up world. Then again what was the guy from “To Catch a Predator” doing on the field anyway? Who was he after?

Apparently Jay Feely doesn’t see the absolute lack of talent that exists in Kansas City. Vonnie Holliday and Channing Crowder are offended.

Jay Feely didn’t hide how he really felt about the Dolphins when he said, “You can see the lack of talent that still exists here”. Many of his ex-Dolphins teammates took exception to his comments.

Channing Crowder said, ”He was part of the lack of talent we got rid of! Now we can go 0-16!” He probably (meaning he didn’t) didn’t say that second part. Maybe it does take a lot of talent to go 1-15. Then again we probably shouldn’t put much stock into anything Crowder says considering he didn’t know they spoke English in England.

Vonnie Holliday went a step further and called his comments “Tiki Barberish”. Tiki responded by saying he always backed Eli and knew he would win the Super Bowl. He also asked if he could have a ring because he inspired Eli to okayness.

Of course, Joey Porter had to say something in order to justify his salary.

You know you have a lack of talent if Chad Pennington is considered an upgrade. This idiot kicker may have a bit of the savant about him.