Tuesday, September 30th, 2008 at
Stories like these make me ashamed to be from Maryland. Sorry, Murland.
Spring Meadow Farms in Baltimore Country held a pig wrestling jamboree this past weekend to the dismay of county officials and PETA. Owner Stan Dabkowski fought the power and held the event even though he was threatened with protests and county code violations.
Twenty groups of four-member teams took turns attempting to corral pigs and place them in a round, shallow water trough for a $150 prize. Each had 90 seconds to do so. Some were able to do it in as few as 25 seconds.
Let me say that I, for one, am offended. The pig is a wonderful, magical animal and unlike those who would disparage it, I find it to be quite halal and kosher. Oink vey indeed! What other animal gives us pork, sausage and bacon? It’s a literal food factory and people are defiling it for their pleasure. Let us not even speak about their intelligence. If the pig had opposable thumbs, I would be wary of facing it in a game of backgammon. If the pig could speak, I would love to discuss Wittgenstein, Heidegger and the Marquis de Sade with the pig over said game of backgammon. Instead some yokels force the pigs into corrals for their amusement and don’t even partake in their sweet, sweet deliciousness. For shame! Save the salted meats! I’m furious. I’m gonna go complain to my purents.
Friday, March 21st, 2008 at
Kimbo Slice at the Baltimore Arena? It could happen if the Maryland State Senate gets its way.
Wednesday, October 10th, 2007 at
Its tough being a cheerleading
coach with debts. I mean ya don’t have a whole lot to fall back on to pay back the ones you owe without resorting to drastic measures.
You dont have to tell Anna Lois Miles of Hagerstown, MD this. Miles is being charged with running illegal unlicensed bingo and tip-jar gambling event to repay a parent who had dropped $2,000 to bail her out of jail for failing to make court-ordered restitution to some victims of $24,000 worth of bad checks. Shame really, she is kinda cute in a white trash sorta way.
The proceeds of the event she organized were supposed to benefit the Hagerstown Heat All-Stars cheerleading club which she coaches…but instead were handed right to the lady who bailed her out of jail. Pretty resourceful if you ask me.
Its tough being a role model these days, i mean, like there’s no benefit to teaching these girls how to run a minor criminal enterprise? Shouldn’t she get some credit for that? I think the judge needs to consider it before he lays the smack down on her.
Picture of Anna Miles from this creepy page
Tuesday, March 13th, 2007 at
Richard Lapchick is back again with his annual downer before the college basketball tournament extravaganza…the NCAA Tournament teams graduation success rate. Lets take a look at the local teams:
Virginia: 85% of all Men’s bball players graduated
Virginia Tech: 71%
George Washington: 70%
Old Dominion: 50%
Maryland: 18% OUCH…wait, WHAT?? 18%????
It appears as if our riotous neighbors in College Park have a bit of a problem graduating their players. Maybe they should stop burning books and start reading them? Maryland would have a 13% success rate if you weren’t including players who transferred to other schools and received degrees, entered from junior colleges and/or who got a degree more than six years after enrolling at UMD. Just so you know how they got to these numbers, “[t]he Institute reviewed 1999 – 00 graduation (six-year) rates, with a four class average (freshman classes of 1996 – 97, 1997 – 98, 1998 – 99, and 1999 – 00).”
Gary, how about teaching a little bit more than just X’s and O’s to your kids huh? Perhaps they could learn important things that books tell you, like where Canada is and most importantly DO NOT go shooting guns around the White House!
Link: Actual PDF of all Schools in the NCAA Tournament and their graduation Rates
Monday, February 12th, 2007 at
It’s not time to fear the turtle yet but we’ll definitely give Murland credit for beating Duke. Hopefully this will spark a turnaround that’ll put them in the tournament so they can lose to Albany in the first round. It’s just a shame that self-educated rapper Cluck-U-Pac wasn’t around to freestyle about how DJ Strawberry and the other seniors took over and helped Duke to their 4th defeat in a row. Just hope Dick Vitale doesn’t put out his good eye in suicidal fit of frustration and agony at Duke’s tailspin.