So let me get this straight because I’m a bit confused. Shaq never had any problems with Kobe. That whole feud was made up like a wrestling feud. According to him, Phil is the Vince McMahon of the NBA.
“I think it was all designed by Phil,” he said. “Because, if you think about it, Phil never called us into the office and said, `Both of you, shut the (heck) up.’ Never did that in four years. He knew that when I read something, I was going to get upset. And he knew Kobe was going to always come out and play hard.
Phil was the one who told Kobe to sell Shaq out to the police in Colorado? The Kobe-Shaq feud was created to motivate the team? That’s some evil genius shit right there. He might as well sit on the bench petting a white cat while throwing Chris Mihm out on the floor and laughing to himself.
Big Aristotle must think no one was paying attention to his last season with the Lakers or his first season with the Heat. Let’s run down the list of Kobe disses with a bit of help from Shaq Quotes.
“My personal opinion is, how, if you never hung out with somebody, do you know them so well? I never hung out with that dude because the dude is a weirdo.”“Let’s put it in old movie Mafia terms.There are guys that are in position to get by but they didn’t wait their turn. They back-doored the top guy to get the power.For example, Sonny Corleone went up there, and he wanted to be the top guy. And the Godfather said, ‘You know what dude, I’m a star.’ That’s what I’m doing now, and that’s what I was trying to do with what’s-his-name.”
“I’m not the one buying love.He’s the one buying love.”(On a ring – reportedly costing several million dollars – that Kobe Bryant bought for his wife, Vanessa, after he was charged with felony sexual assault.)
ESPN: Do you ever see the day where it would be possible for you to sit down, have a talk with Kobe Bryant? SHAQ: Who? ESPN: Kobe Bryant. SHAQ: You know what I am not familiar with that name, I know a lot of names and I have a lot of names in my head, but I am not familiar with that name. Especially if there is nothing to talk about, I’m sorry I can’t recall that name.
“Kobe always tried to be a hero.But you know, as the saying goes, a hero ain’tnothing but a sandwich.”
Nah, no beef here. Shaq’s revisionism puts my freshman PASCAL professor to shame. Did I mention that he was a Holocaust denier? Seriously he was.
“Now that I look back on it, that (stuff) was kind of fun,” he said. “It really was. It was kind of fun. `What did he say, what did he say?’ I tell people if we would have had a reality show, we’d have had the No. 1 reality show in the world.
“It was fun. It was actually fun. (Assistant coach Brian) Shaw would be, `Oh, man, why did you say that?’ And then Karl (Malone) would be like, `Yo, that was (messed) up what you said,’ then we’d try to outdo each other in the game.
He also eats chicken cause that’s how Surinamers do. With rhymes like those, it’s no wonder Liverpool’s Ryan Babel is in the fat Spanish waiter’s doghouse. He can’t get a start and if he wants to know why, he might start with his rapping.
He’s not mumbling. He’s rapping in Dutch. Here’s your translation:
Rapping is my hobby Rappers don’t want trouble I’m the Liverpool star those bitches are loving I know what time it is – I’ve just bought a new watch I’ll give you a punchline: eight seconds, you’ll be knocked down Towel in the ring My family in the V.I.P No caviar for us, Surinamers eat chicken Ya’ll know nothing: this is the Premier League Representing the G You can see this nigga with number 19 Ya’ll can fuck off, I fuck with a whole team Ya’ll can talk, but you don’t get anything with it Ya’ll can’t be like me, my status is too high If rappers come to close, I have to take space People watch YouTube to learn my actions I have those skills, try some tricks I was a poor nigga Now I make fucking money I went from the Euro to the English pound I put money in my pocket, now I spend money on nothing I like it this way, I’m sure you like it If somebody want beef, well come on I like it with some pepper, homie I’m sure in my life Give me the fucking ball, you lose both legs And now my competition is past If you hate me because of that, I say you’re right If I was you, I would hate me too I have the shit homie I can’t even spend all my money Keep your daughter in sight. or you will be my family I’ll take your daughter and let her make clean 101 Barz – this is the first time but I came hard! I came alone, I don’t have a back-up I came because I mean it Check it
We shouldn’t come down on him too hard. This isn’t nearly as bad as the abortion spewed out by Andy Cole. Nevertheless he should stick to soccer and leave the rapping to experts like Kobe** and Shaq.
**Sweet baby jesus, this is the first time I’ve seen that Kobe video. That’s a Rwanda-level atrocity.
What if NBA players gave commission David Stern a taste of his own medicine in response to his increasingly dictatorial rule over the league? Instead of fighting the new rules, he and the owners could run their league in whatever way they see fit. They would just have to keep the league profitable without help from their marquee players.
“I’d go. I’d probably go,” said Bryant, during a USA Basketball press conference on Friday morning. “Like Milan or something like that, where I grew up or something like that… Peace out.”
Bryant continued: “Do you know any reasonable person that would turn down 50 (million dollars)?”
Bryant knows the language and the country. He also owns a team in the IPBL and has friends over there. Sheeeeeeit, it’s almost a no-brainer.
“Because I grew up in Italy it has more significance to me because I’m more familiar with it, I’ve been there and I still have friends there,” said Bryant, a three-time NBA champion. “I’m thinking about buying a house out there. It would be nothing to me to be able to do that.”
Imagine if the NBA lost LeBron and Kobe. It’s bad enough losing Earl Boykins and Josh Childress. They might as well write off the Carolina and Atlanta TV markets. If a player like White Chocolate left, they could lose the LA/Southern California market as well.
Then again, the league might be fine. Players like Starbury, Ron Artest and Tim Duncan could step in and pick up where the LeBron’s and Kobe’s leave off in Babylon… Hope Stern has a box of Depends on standby.
