So Kimbo Slice is again reinventing himself. The one time backyard brawler superstar turned perennial MMA assault victim is now attempting to become a professional boxer. Slice’s first match was this past weekend against James Wade (0-1 career) at Buffalo Run Casino in Miami, Okla and to no one’s surprise, Kimbo won.
You can actually watch the entirety of the fight below as it lasted just eleven seconds. Yeah, eleven seconds. Quality fight right there. I mean, c’mon, even Don King is shaking his head at this match-up.
Regardless, enjoy watching Kimbo attempt to regain some semblance of a career…at least until someone asserts some copyright claim on the video.
It’s been a long time since parents and their children could sit down together and watch a movie that gives kids knowledge for life from upstanding citizens. A movie that teaches them about trust, loyalty, mercy, compassion and respect for your fellow man. Kimbo Slice and Hulk Hogan are coming to the rescue with a movie that even batshit crazy Kirk Cameron would give four Holy Grails.
“Kung Fu U” in 3D is a Disney-type comedy about of a bunch of nerds and misfits that are sent away by their wealthy parents to the Brentwood Academy (a.k.a. Kung Fu U) to learn the finer arts of self-defense. It’s a heart-warming romp where the rather weathered warriors come to the rescue for the kids, and in turn, the kids rescue the warriors’ seemingly lost souls from what had been their eternal apathy. It’s a feel-good story that reminds us that we’re all the same, no matter what our age, or where we came from, and that we should all stick together.
The little Hulkamanics will also learn that bad things happen to people because they deserve it. Lessons from Jebus if you will. Learn about sticking together and fucking your daughter’s best friend who happens to look like your daughter. What’s someone else’s is yours. It’s family! You could always pull the Bill Clinton and go for the closest thing. That’s being resourceful. Ramming speed! It doesn’t matter cause we’re all the same no matter what our age!
There’s no word on whether Lawrence Phillips, Brett Myers and OJ will be guest lecturers at Brentwood Academy.
Leonard Shapiro of the Washington Post has a problem with MMA’s growing popularity and its imminent debut on CBS. Not only will it do great on CBS but the network has managed to land Kimbo Slice for the debut of EliteXC Saturday Night Fights on May 31st.
Those of you not familiar with the exploits of the undefeated Mr. Slice should take a look at some of his backyard and professional fights on the YouTubes.