Jean Claude Van Damme Archives
It’s good to be England manager Fabio Capello. He gets to manage England but unlike English managers who are English, he can escape the bloodsucking tabloid press and unrealistic expectations by heading back to Italy. When he gets home, he has some of this waiting for him.
Capello does a much better job of maintaining his composure than JCVD. It’s cool though. Van Damme probably did a couple lines off that dancer’s ass after setting fashion back 25 years with the outfit his mom picked out for him.
Maybe Frank Dux beat Chong Li at the end of Bloodsport but think how much better it could have been if he faced Karate Monkey in the final fight.
Karate Monkey say, “Break my record. Now I break you like I break your friend.”
Athlete and rapper. Together at last like peanuts and gum. There’s not much better than hearing athletes embarass themselves on wax. “I’m great on the field or court so how could I not also be good at the rap game.” The list of wack sports rappers is long. Kobe, AI, Neon Deion, Shaq, Chicago Bears, MC Hammer (well he was a batboy). Who was the first athlete to go solo on wax? I’m not sure but Darryl Strawberry had to be one of the first to do it.
You might have forgotten about this gem called “Chocolate Strawberry” recorded by Darryl, UTFO and Run DMC in 1987.
When I’m runnin, all the players make space
My name is Darryl, I’m a baseball player
One thing I forgot to say-a
When I’m on the field I’m on top of the world
I get screams from all the girls (Dar-ryl!)
Eat your heart out, Roger Craig. These lyrics are funky fresh!
We’ll leave you with these two works of brilliance for Friday. These first has the added bonus of Roger Craig rapping and Jerry Rice doing the K-Swiss. We give you the 49ers Rap.
This is the coup de grace. Not only does it feature Deion Sanders but it also showcases MC Hammer and the one and only Jean Claude Van Damme. There’s nothing the Belgian Bomber can’t do.
I’m not going to front. I still think Jean-Claude Van Damme is brilliant. I can’t wait for The Quest II: Electric Boogaloo. However this is nowhere near brilliant.