Indianapolis Colts Archives

Mike Hart Channels Drunk, Idiot Kicker


Former Michigan and current Indianapolis Colts running back Mike Hart just doesn’t know when to be quiet. He should have learned his lesson when he called out Stanford head coach Jim Harbaugh for criticizing Michigan’s low academic standards for athletes.

“He says we don’t have great student-athletes, but he just accepted one of our transfers,” Hart said. “What kind of sense does that make? Obviously, he wants guys like us at his school. I don’t know how he can say that. He’s not a Michigan man. I wish he’d never played here.”

Just think. Michigan might have beaten Appalachian State if Harbaugh played there last season.

It turned out Harbaugh was telling the truth for the most part. The Michigan football team was all about general studies and not communications. According to Pat Forde, “only one junior … declared a major, according to the guide (in movement science)” in 2007. “In 18 years of covering college athletics, I’ve never seen virtually an entire junior class without a major.”

Now Hart’s gone and done it again. The sixth round pick is claiming that the NFL isn’t as hard as he thought it would be.

“It’s a little different,” Hart said Saturday at Randy Wise Chevrolet in Flint, where he signed autographs. “The only surprise is it’s not as tough as I thought it was going to be, as far as practice and those type of things,” he said. “It’s more laid back.”

Hart was selected in the sixth round of the April draft by the Indianapolis Colts. He said: “Indianapolis is a different organization. You watch ‘Hard Knocks’ on HBO and you expect to be hazed and a lot of those things, but the Colts are a lot different. It’s not as bad as I thought — we don’t get taped, we don’t get hazed with the Colts.”

Hopefully Hart thinks OTAs are similar to training camp. The coaches and veterans must love hearing him say practice isn’t that hard or that he’s not getting hazed. It’ll be interesting to see if he thinks the same way when he’s duct taped to a bed while getting teabagged by a camel during training camp. Then again we probably have it wrong. Tony Dungy probably has his players read his book and go out on the town to haze gays while Marvin Harrison shoots off his guns like a Palestinian prisoner release celebration.

Dallas Cowboys Possibly Linked To Steroids Arrest

David Jacobs, a north Texas man, was arrested yesterday for conspiracy to possess anabolic steroids with the intent to distribute. The police seized tens of thousands of steroids from his east Plano home upon his arrest along with firearms. The juicy part of this is this guy is a personal trainer who claims to have “offered guidance” to Dallas Cowboys players and is going to plead out and cooperate with officials telling them everything and everyone he knows.

“I am comfortable in saying, ‘Yes. I’m pleading guilty to the manufacturing and distribution of anabolic steroids,’ and I’ve agreed to take that plea agreement,” said Jacobs.

How ’bout that huh? Maybe Belichick and the Colts aren’t the only cheaters out there in the NFL? Perhaps Romo and his ‘boys have had a little chemical assistance to help them to their NFC best 8-1 record? Everyone knows you don’t get a smile like this without some sorta drug. The Cowboys have denied this man’s involvement in the organization, but as we know from other steroid scandals, players often have their own trainers to hook them up with the good stuff.

The Deuce will be watching for more info about this…if anyone has any tips, let us know.

From CBS11TV

RCA Dome Security Guard Says The Colts Cheat

I know a few security guards and I find most of them all to be extremely reliable sources of knowledge. I’ve found out how the NFL was fixed, how you can always win you play the right slot machines the right way in the right places in Atlantic City, and how to get a woman to do exactly what you say whenever you want. Basically, I always trust what a security guard has to say, so I trust this man who says that the Colts actually do pipe in crowd noise at the RCA Dome.

WBZ Photojournalist Bryan Foley says an unidentified RCA Dome security guard told him Sunday that the Colts do enhance the crowd noise. The guard said:

“I don’t know if you know this, but they actually pick up the crowd noise and pump it back through the P.A.”

To further their case, apparent sonics expert, the aforementioned Bryan Foley (pictured right) himself says this:

He was covering the game for WBZ-TV and claims the noise in the RCA Dome was deafening when the Patriots had the ball.

“It was almost silent when the Colts had the ball,” he said.

Well there you have it. Obviously the Indianapolis Colts cheat. A photographer and a security guard themselves have indisputable proof! Its certainly not possible the crowd was actually really loud and the fact that sound is trapped inside a dome makes it sound deafening. No…not at all. Get them on the fuckin bat-phone to Roger Goodell, STAT!

From WBZTV.com