Great day in the morning. No, sweet baby jesus. This could be the most awesome story I’ve ever read and may ever read today. Ellenville High QB Tony Casamento is leading his team to the promised land which is a sectional title. He’s doing while tipping the scales at 305 pounds.
The new Pillsbury Throwboy blames it on slow metabolism. No one is going to care how or why as long as Casamento keeps winning. His team is on the verge of winning the sectional title after he led them to a 56-13 win over their semifinal opponent.
Casamento’s talking about a career as a high school coach or broadcaster. His teammates call him “the next John Madden”. Do we really need another broadcaster who rambles incoherently while yelling “Boom!” and waving a turducken leg around like a drunken Viking? I think not. This kid’s success could open the door for a new breed of quarterback. First it was the black quarterback. Doug Williams showed it could be done. Now is the time for the Quarter Got Backs. He needs to stop selling himself short like a British kid trying to be an astronaut and take his act to college and the pros.** Who could front on The Biggest Show on Turf?
** If that doesn’t make sense to you, check your favorite tranny comedian’s Dressed to Kill. It probably doesn’t work even if you do get the reference. Eh.
“Hey,” offered Estero defensive line coach Pat Hayes after the one-sided affair, “I didn’t even know 91 was a multiple of seven.”
Unfortunately for Coach Hayes, he and the rest of the Estero High football program learned their times tables the hard way on the football field. Estero was beaten 91-0 by Naples High. Yeah, that’s right. 91-0. That would be 13 touchdowns for those of you counting on your fingers and toes.
Naples High coach Bill Kramer should have been living large after such a huge win. However it ain’t all good for him either.
He looked at the scoreboard late in the game, saw 91-0, and said he felt sick to his stomach. Kramer’s team ran only 31 plays and he kept most of his best players on the sideline — for the entire game in some cases. But still Kramer knew what was coming.
Parents from both schools were furious. Estero parents wanted to know why he ran up the score and Naples parents wanted to know why he didn’t put their babies in the game to run up their stats. Kramer said, “There were people ready to burn my house.”
Keep in mind the schools are about the same size. However while Naples Florida Class 3A champions and have players committed to schools like Ohio State, Estero “has no college prospects and only about 25 healthy players remaining on its roster”.
It’s not all bad for Estero High. They were losing 70-0 at the half which means they only gave up three touchdowns in the second half. Now that’s change you can believe in. Maybe Naples were just tired from scoring so much but Estero should look at it as a positive and they can take it into their next game against Cape Coral…who almost beat Naples. Hey Hey Hey!
People are still in disbelief about the Texans collapse against the Colts. Some even think Sage blew it on purpose. We won’t go there. St. Paul Johnson High feels the Texans’ pain. They were the victims of a ridiculous comeback thanks to some lucky play and a shit secondary.
FoxPreps.com brings us the insanity from the end of the game. St. Paul Central was down 18-6 with five seconds left in the 4th. In the words of George Michael, let’s go to the tape.
That corner should get a code red for that play. It’s surprising that he didn’t call for a fair catch on the second touchdown. Now that I think about it, Johnson’s defense looked like the 2003-2004 Packers defense when they had Al Harris and Ahmad Carroll. 4th and 26 anybody?
Out in Utah, there is a boy who stands 6’2″, weighs 220lbs, has size 13 1/2 shoes, bench-presses 330 pounds, squats 500 pounds and power cleans 330 pounds. His name is Justin Sorensen and he may well be the most talented high school football player in the country at his position…KICKER?!?!
Thats right, he’s a kicker and one hell of a kicker at that. While Scouts.com has him ranked just #17 in the nation, he’s kicked a 62 yarder in an intrasquad game (NFL Record is 63 yards) and last year 81 of his 96 kickoffs were touchbacks. The coaches felt this was so unfair that they moved the kickoff back to the 25 yardline for one game…and he split the uprights. Yea, a 90-95 yard kick off a tee there. Impressive as hell.
BYU fans are already salivating over him spotting up for kicking duties at their school and why not, the kid has one hell of a leg. Shame his coaches stopped playing him at fullback and linebacker b/c they selfishly just want to use that magical leg without fear of injury elsewhere. Still, it might be worth it, its good to have a niche and the kid could make a fortune in the pro’s if he keeps kicking like this.
Mormons around the world bow down to your new football God!!
Oh, and if you really want to see him in action, here’s his recruitment video. Basically its some crappy video footage of this kid kicking off and getting a bunch of touchbacks…set to some horrible horrible soft jazz of some sort. I made it through 1 minute before i wanted to hang myself.
Story Information and Kicking Photo from Desert News
“I love food. That’s what it’s all about for me.”
