The geeks over at the University Of Freiburg in Germany have created the ultimate Foosball opponent, a machine. Sorta like the Deep Blue of Foosball, the KiRo is constructed of several motors attached to the foosball table rods which are connected to the electronic control system and guided by a camera that continually scans the table surface for ball movement and player position and movement. The computer follows the ball’s movement and speed and choses the best possible move based upon the speed, trajectory and position of all the foosball guys in the ball’s path.
At this moment the machine has won 85% of its games against casual players, but the nerds at the school are hoping to get that up high enough to bring it on against pro foosball players. Now that I have to see, not the robot against pros, but pro foosball players actually playing foosball.
Here in America, we have our own challenger already for the KiRo and thats the Foosbot by the American geeks at Illinois University -Urbana-Champaign. They claim their machine is completely undefeated, although I doubt that from watching the machine work. Want to watch the devastation that is the foosbot? I thought so, check it below, and turn down the volume unless you wanna hear a crappy nu metal soundtrack:
The Jews must be thrilled that the Germans seem to be moving their attention away from the chosen people. I’ll tell you who’s not thrilled. Mexico.
This isn’t sports-related but it’s a great story. A diplomatic rift is growing between Germania and Mexico over a song. One would think Deutscheland Uber Alles would be enough to make people nervous but ze Germans have gone one step further and started attacking other countries individually through song. Finger Im Po, Mexico (translated as Finger In The Butt, Mexico) has become a hit in Germany and La Raza are not happy.
Mexican Ambassador to Germany Jorge Castro-Valle Kuehne has written a letter of protest to the song’s publisher EMI.
“As I’m sure you can understand, the lyric has aroused great outrage among the members of the Mexican community living in Germany, who have a right to be angry that Mexico’s name is being used in this kind of disrespectful and disgusting way.”
The song was written and is performed by 34-year-old German entertainer Mickie Krause, who made his breakthrough performing works such as “Go Home, You Old Shit” and “10 Naked Hairdressers.”
Krause told [German newspaper] Bild that the song had to be taken with a sense of humor. “On stage, I also sing the lyric ‘Finger in the vagina, Bosnia-Herzegovina,’” he added. “And nobody has gotten worked up about that.”
Just wait until Finger in the Anus, Cyprus or Finger in the Pussy, Central African Republic. Major wars have started over lesser issues.
You ever had that not so feminine feeling where you just wish you were more of a man and not because you just ordered a Sex on the Beach or Malibu on the rocks? Yvonne Buschbaum knows how you feel.
Buschbaum is retiring from professional track and field at the age of 27 to pursue outside interests like becoming a man. She feels that she’s “living in the wrong body”. She’s retiring so that she can start taking hormone treatments.
It’s not like the good old days in East Germany where you could have a sex change along with everyone else on your team and have the state pay for it. Capitalist pigs.
Wunderbar! While the rest of his Chelsea teammates including John Terry (suffering from a broken cheekbone and toe) head off to Valencia for their first Champions League match under Avram “Yes, Mr. Roman” Grant, Michael Ballack headed off to Munich to get his Oktoberfest on.
Don’t get the gout in your bad foot, Herr Ballack.
Deutschland is happy and gay. Israel? Not so much and who can blame them? The Jerusalem Post reports that Munich is considering a bid for the 2018 Olympics. The Israeli Olympic Committee is considering a response. I imagine it will be something along the lines of “Ummmm….Are you out of your fucking mind??”.
Munich mayor Christian Ude says Munich is “well-equipped and hard to beat like the Panzerkampfwagen VI”. Maybe he didn’t mention anything about armor.
Following Salzburg’s defeat that saw the Russian Black Sea city of Sochi win the 2014 games on Wednesday, Ude said “even more arguments speak in favor of a German bid.”
If one goes by that logic, Belarus and Turkmenistan should throw in bids as well. I’m sure the Israelis could come up with just as many arguments if not more against it.
Seriously, people should lighten up. What are the chances of 1972 happening again? Twice in the same place? Come now. Terrorists wouldn’t be so foolish as to try it again. I’m sure they’ve all watched Munich by now. They’d have the Hulk and James Bond on that ass. Anyway, I’m sure they don’t like the winter.
Maybe Germany could do its part to appease the naysayers by promising to throw an opening ceremony dedicated to an apology to all peoples wronged by the Fatherland. Of course, it would be through song and dance. An interpretive, apologetic dance done by Bismarck lookalikes wearing pickelhaubes. It could be something similar to the stalker death dance from The Running Man. A Springtime for Hitler rendition with changed lyrics that scream “my bad” or “everyone was on vacation“. Of course the finale would be a medley performed by Rammstein, The Scorpions and David Hasselhoff. If that doesn’t say let bygones be bygones, I don’t know what does.