It’s a new season and Lovie Smith has a new way of telling the Sex Cannon he’s not playing. Screw meetings. How about practicing the pre-game introduction and having Kyle Orton run out with the first team? It’s probably best that he get used to it now.

This is a new one. Brian Westbrook wants more money from the Eagles. Who cares? Happens all the time. Right. However he doesn’t want more money so he can buy more horses. He thinks he deserves it but he also wants to show all the kids out there that they too can get paid if they work hard.

Westbrook’s … point about his contract is that if the Eagles gave him an extension, it would provide incentive for his teammates.

“Players see you getting compensated and that makes them want to go bust their butt,” Westbrook said. “Nobody is going to quit on this team, but if you know you’re going to be compensated, you might give that little extra. That’s natural.”

I think Warrick Dunn might have some competition for the most selfless player in the NFL. Never mind pride, doing your job or free agency. Having a big money guy on your team is just the incentive you need to get out there and be somebody.

“If LaDainian [Tomlinson] got paid $25 million guaranteed in 2003 and now it’s 2008, the next person needs to be paid $30 million guaranteed,” Westbrook said. “It works its way up. You can’t sit here and say, ‘I’m as good as LaDainian right now, and I’m getting paid five years after him. . . . So I’ll take $15 million.’ That doesn’t make any sense.”

Yeeeeeeah…. Westbrook may be good but he’s not quite that good. I don’t know LaDanian Tomlinson but sir, you are no LT. However he is the Philadelphia offense. If the Eagles are smart, they’ll make Westbrook happy. He may be 29 but he’s pretty much all they have. Sorry, Donovan.

Poor Brady Quinn. He just can’t stop the rain of gay rumors. He certainly does himself no favors when he rocks it like this and this. He finally decided to fight back against The Others since he can’t hold himself back.

TMZ has learned that a dating site has been using Brady’s image for months in M4M ads.

A rep for the Cleveland Browns tells us Brady had no knowledge of the ad saying, “He was not involved in posting photos.”

Brady’s lawyer has already taken action and has sent a cease and desist letter to the website today, demanding all photos of him be removed ASAP.

Interesting denial by the Cleveland rep. Brady also claims that he’s straight. We can’t wait until he holds a press conference to announce his heterosexuality. That always works. Just ask Mike Piazza. Oh wait, what’s that about him and Sam Champion? Never mind.

Maybe Brady should take some advice from Al Reynolds. An off the cuff presser isn’t the move. You need to go with someone sympathetic like an off-brand entertainment reporter who probably hawks Colonblow on those infomercials you always see after getting home pissy drunk off of Henny and skunk at 4 AM.

If Brady really wants to prove he likes vagina, he should keep taking pictures of himself grabbing packages, leave his picture on the dating site and start answering ads directed to him. A couple dates wouldn’t hurt. He might as well even give a couple handjobs just to show how secure he is in his heteronesses. All denials do is make people more suspicious. We don’t want a suspicious Kellen Winslow. Our favorite soldier might crash his douche rocket again and no one wants that.

“My eyes! The goggles, they do nothing!” Live birds as mascots? That’s a brilliant idea.

The front office geniuses at M&T Stadium think it’s a good idea for the Baltimore Ravens to use live ravens as mascots at games. The birds are being trained to fly out ahead of the team as they run onto the field before games. They’re also being trained how to say “Hello, how are you?”, “touchdown” and “Go Ravens”. No word on whether they’re also being taught how to say “I didn’t do it” or “Multiply that bitch up“.

[Ravens Vice President for Marketing Gabrielle] Dow said she hopes the bird – or birds – will fly around the bowl of the stadium. She has plans to have the ravens meet fans at the Ravens Walk outside the stadium. As for risk to fans once the birds are in the air, Blocher said there is “none whatsoever” because of training methods Walthers has used.

Any chance she’ll regret saying there’s no risk to fans? I’ll consider the experiment a success if the ravens start dive bombing Steelers, Bengals and Browns fans and dancing with Ray Lewis as he runs out of the tunnel.

After years of sweat and perseverance, Joey Harrington has finally reached the top. Pro-Football-Reference.com has named him the worst quarterback in NFL history.

Chase Stuart twists the knife:

…No QB has performed so far below the league average for so long as Joey Harrington. To be clear, Joey Harrington probably isn’t the worst quarterback of all time in an absolute sense. But in terms of being so far below average, but far enough above miserable to earn more playing time, Joey Harrington hurt his team more than any other QB in NFL history. If Harrington had been worse, he would have played less, and he wouldn’t have set back the teams he played on. To put it another way, if you had the choice of getting Joey Harrington for 2,538 attempts, or Roger Goodell for 9 attempts you would certainly choose Goodell. At least after he’s gone, your team has a chance.

The Chick-fil-A tomahawk chopping cow should give Joey a 21-chop salute at the Braves’ next home game.