David Stern has to be losing it over players heading to Europe. Just wait until a marquee player decides to cross the pond. Depends time. Roger Goodell is probably laughing at Stern. “Stupid Stern. Giving players their rights and shit. You should have union that bends over on command. Ain’t that right, Genie Baby?” NFL players can’t do much of anything so it’s always good to have people like Chad Johnson around.
Cinco was fined $5000 for having “Ocho Cinco” on his jersey last season so he’s considering a name change in Florida. His new name would be Chad Ocho Cinco. This would presumably allow him to out Cinco on his back. His jersey would blow up in the stores. PFT also points out that players get a cut of their jersey sales so the change would result in straight cash for our homey in Cincinnati.
I don’t want to believe this in case it isn’t true. Please let it be. Even if it is true, Goodell will probably find some way to crush it Putin-style.
You’d think Matt Millen would give Lions fan Mike Lazzara the VIP treatment after he went off on Mike Roy Williams during practice yesterday. However he’s too stupid to see the scapegoat in front of him even though it’s gnawing on his balls.
“It just came out of nowhere, and I was like, ‘Huh?’ ” Williams said. “And he said it again, and I was just like, ‘What?’ And he said it again.”
Asked why he confronted Lazzara instead of ignoring him, Williams said: “I just wanted to know, ‘Where is he getting that from?’ And he said, ‘You take plays off in the season.’ And I said, ‘Well, why don’t you come and do my job and I’ll do your job and let’s see how it works.’ He said it again, and I said, ‘Yes, sir. All right.’ And I walked off.”
Lazzara was eventually led out by security after being booed by the seven other fans in attendance. He did have a point in saying that “There’s no signs that say you’ve got to stay positive.”
“I wasn’t yelling and screaming and using profanity and all this at Roy. I was just being constructive, and they boot me out. I mean, what in the world? Don’t even open it.’
I mean, really! Seriously? Talk to the hand, guy! Who knows why he’s getting all worked up? Jesus told Jon Kitna that the Lions are winning 10 games this season so it’s all good. There’s still plenty of time to suck for the players. Fans probably aren’t going off on Millen yet because they don’t want to show their hand before the regular season starts.
At least Aaron Brooks sits at home and wonders why he doesn’t get any calls from teams looking for quarterbacks. It may have something to do with backwards passes and scrambling for -25 yards before being sacked.
Then there’s Daunte Culpepper. He and Byron Leftwich had the good fortune of being flown to Steelers training camp for a workout after backup Charlie Batch broke his collarbone. Both of them impressed however Leftwich is staying and Culpepper is going home. Leftwich got with the program while Culpepper thought he was going to compete for the starting job against Ben Roethlisberger.
PFT seems to think that Culpepper still has a chance to sign if he gets off whatever he’s on and realizes that he would only be there to cover for Batch in his absence. You almost want to salute Culpepper’s drive to become a starter again. However he needs realize that he’s not going to get that chance especially on a team with a Super Bowl winning franchise QB. He needs to latch onto a team and hope the starter goes down so he gets a chance. If he impresses, he’ll have a good chance of being signed to a stupid contract by the Ravens cause that’s how we do. He’ll be able to buy 20 sex boats with all the money he’ll get for being mediocre.
The arm of the Jets starting quarterback just aged 30 years. The body attached to it is different as well. Brett Favre has been traded to the Jets and not a minute too soon.
Jay Glazer reports that the Packers will receive a fourth-round pick but that could increase in value depending how the Jets do and how many snaps Favre takes this season. Should the Jets reach the Super Bowl and Farve reach a certain percentage of snaps, the pick could become a first-rounder.
Both teams released statements confirming the trade and licking his narcissistic ass. Finally we can hear the end of this absurd saga and focus on how much longer we have to go before an NFL player gets arrested. The college kids can’t keep this up much longer.
Mike Florio over at Pro Football Talk reports that the trade also has terms preventing the Jets from trading Favre to a NFC Central team. However there’s no reason the Jets couldn’t trade him elsewhere if they chose to do so. For the love of everything that’s holy, let’s hope Woody keeps Favre in the swampland he loves so much.
There is some collateral damage as a result of this bizarre couple of weeks and the trade. Chad Pennington and his eight year-old arm could be a casualty as the Jets need to make cap room to sign Favre. Who even knows the mental state of Aaron Rogers? Favre may be gone but the Green Bay fans let him know how they feel and the team has fucked with his emotions. The Packers organization’s rep has taken a hit over the wishy-washy, indecisive, bitch way they handled this drama. Let’s see how he deals with the New York press when they’re constantly on his ass after his first six interception game.