It must suck to go home and talk to your damn weiner kids after work if you play for the Detroit Lions. Even the 1-15 Dolphins weren’t this much fun to watch last season. It’s not just the fact that the Lions are losing. Anyone can do that. They’re keeping it interesting. They’re giving teams points by running out of their end zone. Players are stealing other players’ luggage. The team is grabbing QBs as they walk by Ford Field. The Matt Millen effect is still at work.

Opposing teams are doing their part to remind the Lions how much they suck. They’re beating the shit out of them and they’re reinforcing the beatdowns with verbal reminders. It’s gotten so bad that Lions players have stopped fighting back.

“[The Jacksonville Jaguars] were cracking jokes,” Lions running back Kevin Smith said. “They thought we were a joke. They said we (weren’t good). They were saying that to me, that I (wasn’t good). And I told them they (weren’t good), too. And they said, ‘Well, not as bad as (you).’ And I said, ‘You’re right.’ (Because) we haven’t won one game.”

Someone hasn’t been pwned like that since Billy Madison pwned that kid for hating on Donkey Kong. “You know something? You suck!” Rod Marinelli might want to consider letting Daunte Culpepper play in the chinchilla coat. There’s something to be said for losing in style.

Who knew the CFL was so gangsta? The CFL is best known to us south of the border as being the home of Warren Moon and Doug Flutie for years in addition to being the place for wack touchdown celebrations. Don’t sleep on CFL fans. Don’t let anyone tell you they don’t mean business when they throw down.

A fan at a Calgary Stampeders-Saskatchewan Rough Riders game caught a struggle between a drunken fan and a police officer on tape. A fan went for what might have been an officer’s gun while he was busy subduing another fan. The cop went after the other fan and they ended up taking a dive down the stands.

Who knows if the fan was going for a gun, taser or whistle? You ask where the backup was while the cop was taking on the section by himself. They were too busy with their own battles.

Police said only one officer was called to the scene because the 35 other officers at the stadium were dealing with other incidents.

Daroux said in one of the incidents, a spectator was assaulted by another fan so badly, his head injuries were at first considered life-threatening. In another, a fan approached an officer with brass knuckles.

This kind of behavior is more suited to Oakland where marauding gangs roam the Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum in spiked shoulder pads and MC Hammer parachute pants attacking people in Port-A-Pots while screaming in tongues like E-40.

Laugh at the CFL if you will. At least they have cool team names like the Rough Riders which could be a brand of condom or how some bar troll got down after you picked her up at last call on Saturday. We have the Magic, the Heat and now the Thunder. The Dolphins? Dolphins are a bunch of bitches like Smith Barney. What do they do except make annoying noises and bounce balls on their noses? No wonder the Navy uses them for bomb bait and the Japanese work them like baby seals.

You’d think playing in the CFL is enough punishment for doing something bad in a previous life or just not being very good at all. Apparently that wasn’t enough for former Argos QB Kerwin Bell.

Football to the groin! It works on so many levels.

Matt Millen is finally gone but Detroit is still losing its damn mind.

Chad Pennington goes deep (for him) to Elmo.

Perhaps the Jets should buy Laveranues Coles a blowup doll of Chad Pennington. He could talk to it, lay with it and remember all the special times that he used to share with his good ol’ buddy.

Coles hasn’t gotten over the loss of Chad Pennington due to the arrival of Brett Favre. To his credit (?), he hasn’t been extremely vocal but he needs to get over it. He’s all broken up because the Jets decided to upgrade the QB position and give themselves a shot at the postseason.

“I don’t have a feel for him and he doesn’t have a feel for me,” Coles said yesterday of his on-field relationship with Favre. “That is one of the things I am going to have to deal with. In the past I’ve always known when the ball was coming. Now you don’t really know.”

Coles, who missed the four preseason games with a hamstring injury, has not sounded enthusiastic about having Favre as his quarterback and didn’t again yesterday, but he said Sunday that’s a product of loyalty toward Pennington.

Wah. Sorry the Jets decided to get a QB who can throw the ball more than seven yards. Sorry they decided to think about what was best for the team as opposed to Coles’ feelings. Next time the Jets decide to make a personnel move, Eric Mangini and Woody Johnson should come to Coles and ask how it would make him feel. Even Nicolas Anelka doesn’t want to hear it anymore.

There’s nothing wrong with being upset over losing a friend but Coles might want to remember that this is a business and not a support group. He has been seen laughing and talking with Favre and their lockers are next to each other.

If Coles wants to win, he’ll realize that Favre is the best chance he’ll ever have of accomplishing anything on the Jets. Then again he did request a trade to the Jets so he can’t be that interested in success. This is the same guy who whined about the lack of big plays on the Redskins yet wouldn’t get surgery to fix his toe. Maybe he doesn’t have chemistry with Favre because he missed the preseason. It’s your job to adjust so get on with it. No one wants to hear bitching about former teammates. It happens all the time. There are these things called phones and the interwebs. Learn them. Use them. Love them.

Maybe we’ve been too hard on Laveranues. We’ll leave you with a tribute to LC and his buddy CP.