Very Big Club Newcastle United has fallen on hard times over the past couple years after finding domestic and European glory. Winning the Inter-Cities Fairs Cup in 1969 is a massive achievement. Have you won it? I didn’t think so.
Despite the lack of success on the pitch, Newcastle claims to have fans that will see the club through thick and thin. St. James Park is always filled to its 50,000+ capacity for every match by loyal and… What’s that? They give tickets away? Of course they do. All teams have corporate and family seats. What do you mean they’re not exactly corporate or family seats?
“The tickets are provided on the understanding that they are used, as part of a package of measures, to particularly help young people who have had substance misuse problems, and are making clear progress and showing a genuine commitment to living a normal, structured life.
“We thank the club for this generous gesture that goes a long way towards re-introducing people to a structured way of life.”
It’s not clear how going to a Newcastle match would help addicts adapt to living a sober life. Have you ever been to Newcastle? There’s nothing to do but drink and use drugs. Have you ever watched Newcastle play? It’ll make you want to drink and do drugs. Even when they’re not playing, they’re not setting a good example:
Since sports bloggers are coming out of the closet left and right, we might as well do the same. We’re not gonna lie. There’s a whole lotta melanin flowin’ over here. In spite of that, we do enjoy a good metal or punk show. However we no longer see any point in being anywhere near the mosh pit. Any attempt at moshing near us will most likely be met with a kick to the knee or a sharp Shawn Bradley elbow to the temple or Adam’s Apple. A hard shove is nothing but an invitation to continue moshing. We’re glad we’re not the only ones that feel this way.
Australian rugby league players Ben Pomeroy, Dustin Cooper, Jacob Selmes and Brett Kearney were questioned by the police after a man claimed that one of them punched him during a Korn concert in Sydney on Sunday.
“I spoke to all four of them just quickly,” [Cronulla Sharks chief executive Tony] Zappia said. “I just asked them if anything happened and they said no more than anything that normally happens in a mosh pit. They said they had nothing to hide. They don’t know what they’re supposed to have done.
You start moshing and there’s a chance you could end up face down whether you’re in the pit or not. It comes with the territory. There’s no crying in the mosh pit.
The players can’t be blamed for their actions. I probably would have lashed out in similar fashion if I found myself at a Korn concert. However they were solid in their South Park episode.
It could have been worse. Flying scissors kicks and windmill punches would have come out if it were a P.O.D. concert. No question weapons come out at a Papa Roach concert. I’d probably save myself the trouble and use them on myself. Then again that would be selfish as everyone else would continue to suffer.
Speaking of shit bands, here’s a random thought. You may not like many bands out there but few actually make you contemplate violence and destruction when you hear them. Two that do? Sugar Ray and Smashmouth. Two of the worst bands in recent history. They should be forced to apologize for what they inflicted on the world.
We have several Australian stories in the pipeline so we figure we’ll just give them to you in one post. Don’t expect this again. There’s nothing daily about this.
Chad Reed Is One Hard Muthafucka
Australian supercross star Chad Reed is better or dumber than you. He checked himself out of the hospital with a broken shoulder after suffering an accident during a practice run at an AMA Supercross race in Detroit. Did we mention he was “vomiting more blood than [he] had ever seen in his life” after flying over his handlebars?
Reed checked out and returned to compete in the race.
Because of AMA Supercross regulations, the series leader was unable to take anything stronger than oral painkillers. He pulled off after two laps, unable to go on, and was again forced out of the last-chance qualifier. But to gain entry into the main event, Reed used his provisional entry option, which allows for a rider within the top 10 in points to advance directly to the final.
He was brought down in the first turn of the 20-lap race but remounted his Yamaha in 21st spot and embarked on what commentators described as one of the most memorable rides in supercross history. Pushing his way through the pain of a broken shoulderblade, Reed passed half the field to finish 12th and maintain a strong points lead.
And there you are bitching and moaning about that 7th prairie fire shot. Suck it up.
Speaking Of Cheap Shots
AFL player Barry Hall knows all about them. The Sydney player is in serious trouble with the Australian Football League after a cheap shot on West Coast’s Brent Staker during a game this past weekend.
Hall could It be suspended for at least six weeks. It’s just as well because he broke his wrist on some advertising boards in addition to taking out two West Coast players.
Cowley is now eating through a straw and had five titanium plates permanently inserted into his face. D’Arcy is facing charges but his place on the Australian Olympic team is still up in the air.
It’s never a good idea to get shitfaced and start trouble when a rugby team is on the same flight. Don’t believe us? Ask the assclown who found out the hard way on a Quantas flight.
South African rugby squad The Stormers were asked to get involved when a unruly, drunk passenger wouldn’t simmer down on a flight from Sydney to Perth.
“He became extremely aggressive and abusive,” team representative Frikkie Erasmus told the Cape Town Argus. “That’s when one of the Stormers calmed him down with a good klap. It worked out quite well.”
Why the hell do they spell klap with a k? Who knows. They probably have diplomatic immunity or something.
The passenger “remained in time-out mode” for the rest of the flight. We’re guessing he was out like when KRS beat down the fat guy from PM Dawn. He was arrested upon the flight’s arrival in Perth.
