Friday, July 9th, 2010 at
So, as you all probably know by now, LeBron James going to play for the Miami Heat for the foreseeable future. You probably heard this information any one or more of these ways: live on ESPN during an hour long broadcast titled “The Decision” where LeBron sat with Jim Gray to discuss where he was going to play next year, on ESPN.com’s Lebron James web page the “LeBron Tracker”, on Twitter where currently James is trending in the top 5, in the news where according to Google he is the number 1 and 3 trending search term currently, on your local news, on the radio…basically, LeBron James is everywhere.
As a matter of fact, LeBron James news has been around so much lately that I won’t know what to do anymore without the LeBron James speculation and news. That hour long ESPN self promoting television special James did should really just be the pilot episode to the rest of LeBron’s life on televison for us all to watch.
It took a month for him to figure out where he was going and he brought us all along for the ride. Imagine how long it is going to take for him to find a house to live in down in Miami? Can you imagine the speculation? The drama? Somebody call TLC or HGTV because I think I found them a freaking gold mine. Who cares about Property Virgins when you can spend the next two months figuring out which tony neighborhood The King is going to move into down in Florida?? I NEED TO KNOW MORE! CHAD FORD ENLIGHTEN ME AS TO THE PROPERTY TAXES OF THE LOCALITIES IN WHICH LEBRON MIGHT POSSIBLY HAVE AN INCLINATION TO MOVE INTO!
I want to see how long it takes him to decide what he is going to eat for breakfast. I want the cameras there documenting his every move from waking up to brushing his teeth to putting on goddamned deodorant until we all finally know whether or not it will be Captain Crunch or Coco Puffs for cereal this morning. The whole time, I want, nay, i NEED Michael Wilbon commentating that he thinks that Frankenberry might have an outside chance to pull off an upset at being in his bowl today. THIS INFORMATION WILL MAKE ME WHOLE AS A HUMAN BEING!!!
If ESPN can devote an hour of its valuable news broadcasting time to “The Chosen One” then why not just give us a whole channel of it? OBVIOUSLY this is what the fans of the NBA want and need. After the World Cup ESPN 3 won’t be used online anymore, just like it was never used when it was ESPN 360, so why not just make it ESPN-LeBron and give us what we deserve. ALL LEBRON ALL THE TIME! This just makes sense.
We have a hole in our lives now and only LeBron can fill it.
Friday, August 14th, 2009 at
Today, the City of Brotherly Love introduced a brother who recently has been loved dearly in the joint.
And of course with the announcement that the Eagles signed Michael Vick, the Worldwide Leader went to Plaid implementing wall-to-wall coverage featuring a nationwide polling orgy and Woody Paige arguing with a life size mannequin of Michael Vick. The Leader’s pundits took to the airways frothily debating the rationale of signing Mr. Vick and thereby potentially alienating their entire fanbase. (Of course, this is the same team that once had a jail in its own stadium and whose head coach has two sons, who have done more drugs than most of Philly combined. Not to mention, this is the same fanbase who cheered a potentially paralyzed Michael Irvin and pelted Santa Claus with snowballs.) So the claims of potential alienation seem to be a stretch at best.
Missing from all of this coverage, however, is how I wish the Vick signing would play out…
At the first home game of the season, out of a smokey tunnel run the Eagles led by their quarterback, Donovan McNabb.
WHEN SUDDENLY, the entire stadium goes dark and out of nowhere a pack of dogs rush the field attacking Donovan McNabb and Andy Reid. Then a single spotlight shines back onto the entrance tunnel, and we see Michael Vick and Tony Dungy standing their with arms raised…while Jim Ross exclaims….
OH MY GOD IT’S MICHAEL VICK’S MUSIC!
(A boy can dream.)
Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009 at
By now, everyone should know the whole Ben Roethlisberger civil suit story, and if you dont go ahead and read this then come on back. Ok, now, everyone should also know that ESPN is purposefully not reporting on this news story, even releasing statements why they wont cover it, despite those statements being contradictory to what has been done by TWWL in the past. If you haven’t seen this discussion, read here and even here then come on back. After reading all that, I am sickened but not surprised by ESPN’s course of action here.
The utter arrogance on the network’s part to decide what is and what is not news is inexcusable. It begs the question about what kind of racial bias the network has, it brings to mind what kinds of corporate biases the network has with all of its partnership deals with the very sports they cover and the advertisers they have, and it brings to mind whether or not the network should even be as huge and powerful as they are.
They have no problem reporting about a dead for over 2 weeks Steve McNair’s blood alcohol content, for no reason whatsoever since he was the one who was murdered, but when the Super Bowl winning quarterback get sued for sexual assault, this is not considered news. When a former super bowl winning wide-receiver gets sued in a civil suit for injuries sustained during a shootout, ESPN was all over it…but not for Roethlisberger’s sexual assault civil suit.
What gives? ESPN owes everyone a real explanation here. They dropped the ball. Big time. Especially considering that every other news establishment felt that this story was actual news.
Thank goodness I have (some of) my fellow bloggers there to give me the straight news, without the filters that ESPN seems to have. I’ve long since given up going to ESPN for news for various reasons, including those listed above, but obviously most of America has not and ESPN owes it to its viewers to report the news not through ESPN colored glasses.
Or hey, maybe ESPN is right and everyone is wrong. I mean, no one could possibly believe that Ben Roethlisberger would ever be out of control…right?
Thursday, July 9th, 2009 at
That is about the first thing I thought of when I read that the U.S.O.C. is going to try to start up an Olympics Channel with Comcast. How on earth can you base a channel off of an event that occurs every 4 years (well 2 years if you count the Winter Games) and you can’t even broadcast the actual Olympic events because all the rights for it were bought by NBC.
ESPN Classics doesn’t work and it re-broadcasts some of the best games ever from all sports, how on earth is this channel going to survive? Is it going to be an all shot put and discuss channel? I can only imagine the ultra-inspirational kind of Olympics Network original movies they’ll make. There’s gotta be hours upon hours of “Where are they now” and “Biography” type materials they’re making…that will stop being interesting after they do Mary Lou Retton.
I’m really tryin to wrap my head around this, but the U.S.O.C. is not scared about the viability of the channel:
Peter Ueberroth, the former U.S.O.C. chairman, said on the call, “This network is dedicated to taking our 40 to 45 sports to the American public, to show what the youngsters are doing, what Olympians are doing as they qualify, and showing there are options besides the most popular sports.”
Bellingham added, “We have we have to speak to the values and ideals of the movement as the athletes follow their dreams.”
See, right there…what Ueberroth said…they aren’t going to be broadcasting the most popular sports. How does one make money not doing what is popular? Riddle me this Ueberroth!?! My simple simian mind must not be able to understand this. Brilliant idea guys. Brilliant.
From New York Times
Thursday, March 26th, 2009 at
He’s Baaaaaack! Well, almost. Isiah Thomas has been talking to the LA Clippers for a possible management role to assist GM/Coach Mike Dunleavy so says ESPN.com. Assist him in doing what, I wonder? Assist in trading away all the talent they have and accumulating a ton of overpaid power forwards maybe?
I’m not sure there can be a greater collection of suckage than if the LA Clippers and Isiah Thomas join forces. The team should just go ahead and change their name to the Los Angeles Black Holes since the only thing black holes do is suck. This would be the suckiest sucking black hole that ever sucked.
If this happens, the only thing that can make this team suck even more is if Michael Jordan buys on as a co-owner and they figure out that no one has signed Penny Hardaway, Alonzo Mourning, or Robert Horry, signing them on for one last Space Cowboys like run at glory.
Personally, I think it has to happen. It makes too much sense. Hear me out. Of all stupid and incomprehensable moves that Donald Sterling has ever made as an owner, this one makes the most sense in its brainlessness. How? Well, of all the stupid moves that Sterling could make, this is the stupidest, which means its the most likely stupid move he could do, which means it makes the most sense that this deal gets done. Its almost like it was a foregone conclusion that Isiah would eventually end up in LA. It is truly a match made in heaven…and it must happen.