The war is over! The Seattle Mariners and Seattle strip club DreamGirls finally reached an agreement to end their legal battle over the club’s presence 400 feet from Safeco Field. The pros on the field are going to have some competition from pros on the stage.

The Mariners agreed to drop their appeal of a lower court decision allowing the club to open after the owners agreed to several concessions.

Under the settlement, the club operators agreed to certain limits on the building’s outdoor signs and a canopy along First Avenue South and Occidental Avenue South, including the size and degree of lighting.

No pictures of women on a full-color outdoor video display will be shown on days when events aimed at children are taking place at Safeco, such as Little League days. Only messages with text would be permitted on those days. The agreement covers up to 15 baseball games and up to 12 other events such as graduations.

When displayed, those pictures cannot be sexually explicit. The video sign must be on First Avenue South and can’t be visible on Occidental Avenue South, where many people walk to Safeco.

The club also will not use barkers to attract customers or use amplified sound outside the building. No live adult entertainment will be allowed on the roof, and the club will employ private security guards to deal with unlawful activity and loiterers.

That’s cute. Does team management think the restrictions are going to keep Adrian Beltre away from the club? If there’s anyone who can take a knee to the balls, it’s him. Fuck a cup. If club owner Roger Forbes is smart, he’ll get all subliminal and pay players to use strip club music while batting. Mike Sweeney could come out to a little Crüe. Imagine Ichiro stepping into the batters box to the big booty shakin’ sounds of Uncle Luke (lyrics NSFW). Doo Doo Brown!!

“The U” Hurricanes coach Randy Shannon wasn’t playing when he said he was going to change the atmosphere in the locker room. His stated goal was to make them a team instead of a grouping of individuals. No more names on the jerseys. Butt Buddies. Wha wha wha?

Manny Navarro blogs on all things Hurricane over at the Miami Herald. He was lucky enough to be around when Coach Shannon discussed Graig Cooper and Jarrvis James.

“When asked about Cooper in the spring, Shannon said: ‘I think Coop did a great job. He brought some some excitement to the team. And he’s a calm guy. He’s not an arrogant or flamboyant guy.’ It was going well, then coach goofed. ‘Belive it or not, he and Javarris James are kind of like butt buddies.’

There’s only one place to go at a time like this. Are you thinking what we’re thinking?

You might want … No, you better turn the the volume down if you’re at work unless you want to be a lady or gentleman of leisure.

What were you thinking, you homophobic bastard? It’s so good to have Luke back at the U. Don’t stop, git it, git it indeed.