Larry Johnson popping cork (presumably in a woman’s face)

Where to start with LJ. This post was going to be all about the reasons for his suspension yesterday but we can hardly keep up with his woman abusing ways. Let’s deal with the suspension then get to his latest incident. Maybe we’ll also discuss how I forgot to bench LJ in my fantasy league this week.

The Kansas City Star reported that LJ was suspended for continually showing up late and missing team meetings. It had nothing to do with the February incident where he pushed a woman down in da club. Apparently beating down women doesn’t warrant a suspension in Herm Edwards book but don’t you show up late for one of his meetings. How else will you will learn how to blow a game?

Several outlets are reporting that LJ was involved in another nightclub incident over the Chiefs’ bye week with another woman. Mike Florio says sources claim that he spit on the woman. Maybe he should get some credit for restraint since he didn’t use his hands.

All reports say that the NFL will suspend Johnson. The only question is how long. Maybe Carl Peterson figured he could take the Jerry Jones approach by pretending there was nothing to see. Fail. Don’t they realize that he’ll have even more time to cruise the clubs and find new ways to abuse women? There is an upside to his pending suspension. Fantasy owners including myself will be spared the agony and stress of not knowing which LJ is going to show up week to week. How can he go 22, 121, 198 then 2? That’s bullshit.

Great news for Cincinnati police blotter watchers! Odell Thurman’s back in the league. You can’t let a solid criminal like Chris Henry leave without replacing him. That’s just good personnel work by Marvin Lewis and Bengals management. It’s almost the Thunderdome way. One man enter, one man leave. They’re visionary like Bill Walsh. Their core of criminals policy is as innovative as the West Coast offense.

The Seattle Seahawks know a great system when they see it. They have yet to master the criminal revolving door but they’re getting there. It’s an added bonus when you can replace a departing player from within the organization. Exit Jerramy Stevens. Enter Rocky Bernard.

Bernard was arrested for assaulting his ex who is also the mother of his child in a nightclub parking lot on Monday morning.

The former girlfriend and a friend said they saw Bernard, who turned 29 on Saturday, in an “altercation” with another woman at Ibiza, a club at 528 Second Ave. Bernard then walked toward the former girlfriend and punched her in the forehead with a closed fist, causing her head to strike a glass divider, according to a police report.

The victim, 22, and friend told police they ran to a car to get away. Bernard allegedly followed them as they shut the car doors and pounded the windows as they drove away, according to a police report.

In a strange way, his ex must feel a bit of pride knowing that Bernard would drop an altercation with another woman just to start one with her. It’s clear he’s not over her yet.

The Bengals must be wondering how Bernard slipped under their radar. Maybe they tried to sign him but the attraction of foam parties in Ibiza was too strong to resist.