Monday, November 10th, 2008 at
If it’s the Champions League, it’s burglarin’ time in Liverpool. Another Liverpool player was robbed while the team was on CL duty. Come on down, Lucas Leiva! You’re the ninth Liverpool player to be robbed by your own fans!
The Brazil international was relieved of some jewelery and “some very distinctive football and sports memorabilia”. It’ll probably end up on EBay soon so he should be able to buy it back at an inflated price if the coppers don’t find it first. They might want to start with the Beckhams’ hired help.
Just wait until some Liverpool player comes home from a Champions League match and finds his whole house missing. Scousers don’t mess around when it comes to robbin’ and stealin’. Oh yeah, they’re also great at unemployment. Hah! I’ll be here all week. Don’t forget to tip your waitress.
Wednesday, August 13th, 2008 at
What the hell is going on in Philadelphia? Eagles fans have always been known for their class. Lack of it, that is. However they’ve rarely stooped to the level of a Scouser. It’s a known known that when you sign for Liverpool, you do so with the assumption that your house will be robbed by your fans. This usually happens during an important game. Either some Scousers stowed away to Philly or Eagles fans have taken it on themselves to emulate their idols.
Broderick Bunkley’s house was robbed while he was away at a preseason game in Pittsburgh. He came home to find his house “ransacked”. In addition to several gaming system, he had legal handguns and rifles stolen.
“Neighbors said Bunkley has always had a security system, and that he’s very friendly and polite…”
They also said he’s clean. What the hell does friendly and polite have to do with being robbed while you’re away? The Eagles might want to consider throwing the season (like they have a choice). The better they do, the more their homes will be robbed.
Friday, December 28th, 2007 at
Wayne Rooney doesn’t takes ‘em 8 to 80 dumb, crippled and crazy like Big Daddy Kane. He takes them dumb and 80 except when it comes to ‘is Colleen. We know how he loves him some dusty granny action on the DL. Now he’s going have to work it and do his thing down the wedding aisle if his cousin has anything to say about it. Good thing he has an open mind.
Rooney is marrying his WAG Colleen in June 2008 and his tranny cousin Stephen wants to be a bridesmaid. In fact, he’s already hitting the shops in hope/anticipation of Colleen asking him to be a part of the wedding.
Friends are worried that the wedding would turn into a spectacle due to Stephen’s antics. However, they shouldn’t be so quick to judge. One friend said, “”Wayne didn’t rule Stephen out so we reckon he’s still in with a chance as a bridesmaid … and he’d do as good a job as posh friends like Victoria Beckham any day.”
Stephen also works at Kentucky Fried Chicken so he could stock the reception at cost or even less if he saves up his shift meals and keeps them frozen until June. He’s the gift that keeps on giving.
If this picture is anything to go by, he’ll definitely do a better job than Rio Ferdinand.
Colleen had some “thoughts” on her impending nuptials.
“What I do know is that wherever we marry I’d like a Catholic ceremony and want to be married by a priest. I’m really looking forward to becoming Mrs Wayne Rooney!”
Yeah, Pope Benedict will be down with a drunken Scouser tranny in the wedding party. The Catholic Church’s stance against Scousers hasn’t changed since Liverpool’s founding in 1207.
Tuesday, November 20th, 2007 at
Now run ‘em! Gimme the loot! What can we say about another Liverpool player’s house getting robbed? Tommy’s come a long way since Trainspotting. He’s gotten off the bad stuff and managed to become the hardest working player for Liverpool. Maybe his hard work will pay off on the field and he’ll actually score.
His hard work has paid dividends off the field. Too bad it’s paying off for someone else. Kuyt became the latest Liverpool player to be robbed while away doing his job. Thieves (we’re assuming Liverpool fans) robbed his home while he was away on international duty last Thursday. It’s unclear what was taken at the time besides his dignity and sense of well-being.
Fellow support group members/victims include Peter Crouch, Daniel Agger, Pepe Reina and Jerzy Dudek. It appears the more you suck, the safer you are at Liverpool. The lesson is never try. Just ask former Liverpool players Gabriel Paletta and Djibril Cisse.
Friday, November 2nd, 2007 at
Liverpool fans will ramble on about all the class and history they have even though they’ve been branded the worst fans in Europe by UEFA. They try to roll ambulances with patients in them, start riots and rob their own players.
It’s certainly no surprise that another Liverpool player has been victimized. The surprise comes at the level of sophistication. Usually Scousers smash and grab. They stick with robbing houses and stealing hubcaps. This time, we could be in for some identity theft. Perhaps we can’t put this on them. It’s a bit complicated.
Liverpool defender John Arne Riise’s payslip was made public and now anyone interested can know exactly what he makes in addition to personal information such as his home address and national insurance number.
The Norwegian defender will be concerned that his home address has been released given that four of his Liverpool team-mates, José Manuel Reina, Peter Crouch, Jerzy Dudek and Daniel Agger have been burgled this year.
The slip appeared on several football fan forums and show the breakdown in pay in addition to his student loan payments. Pay for work and loan payments. That’s sure to piss off any real Scouser!
Now Riise has to worry about home burglary in addition to identity theft. Maybe he and other Liverpool players should have second homes with advertised addresses so people will rob them instead. Insurance will cover the losses if they decide to go with real furniture instead of the prop furniture used in stores. Yeah that’s it.