Friday, August 15th, 2008 at
Jay Cutler is all about tough love. He slammed WR Brandon Marshall after he cut himself “slipping on a McDonald’s bag”. However he’s not about to give up on his boy even though he’s probably going to serve a two to three game suspension for violating the NFL’s code of conduct.
Marshall plans on crashing at Cutler’s pad during his suspension and engage in some home schooling. He plans on studying the playbook and film in addition to working out with Cutler at night. Who knows if this will start him on the path to wholesome living but it’s worth a try.
T.O. is supposed to watch over Pacman in Dallas. Pacman should move in with T.O. and HBO should film it as a reality show or a sitcom. They could call it “TnA” or “That’s Pac!”. How great would that be? Screw watching players fall asleep in meetings or rookies getting cut. Imagine T.O. coming home to find Pacman installed a stripper pole and DJ booth in his house while he was at work. T.O. could open his door only to see some big booty hoes working the pole in his living room. Pac and Luther Campbell (uncensored so careful if you’re at work) would be making it rain and smoking cigars while “Hoochie Mama” (also uncensored) blasts in the background. Another episode could have a unreinstated, bored Pacman try to work T.O.’s alleged BangBros.com connnections so he can film his own porn on the star in Texas Stadium. Jason Garrett would have to be in this one as the assistant coach who plays the choir boy but really calls himself “Freak Nasty” and creeps out the porn stars with his fetish demands like being slapped in the balls with a donkey dildo wielded by a 300 lb Eskimo girl while having tartar sauce thrown and rubbed all over his face. Who’s got Pacman Fever now?
Tuesday, June 17th, 2008 at
What can we say about Javon Walker? We had one take late last night when we first read about him being found unconscious in a Vegas hotel driveway with a broken orbital bone. Brian Griese feels but doesn’t remember his pain.
This morning, we find out that he is an alleged robbery victim. Norm Clarke reports that he was at Body English until 7 AM spraying the crowd with over 15 bottles of Dom Perignon. He did the same thing on Saturday night at a different Vegas club. The receiver has a long history with tearing up the club in Vegas.
Walker asked Broncos coach Mike Shanahan for permission not to attend [murdered Broncos teammate Darrent] Williams’ funeral in Texas [in 2007], saying he was too distraught. Walker flew to Las Vegas the weekend of the funeral and was seen at Tryst.
Walker recently signed a six-year deal with the Raiders after crying his way out of Green Bay and losing his job in Denver. Hopefully, he’s the unlucky victim of a robbery attempt. We don’t want to imply anything more devious at this point but he might want to consider keeping his ass out of Vegas for a while. Then again, he better watch his back in Oakland.
**Does anyone know how we can get our hands on some of those Telly Savalas Players Club cards? We’ve been looking for years with no luck. Vegas, baby.
Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008 at
It’s always tough to see two people in love go through a bad patch. We’ve seen it with Tom Arnold and Roseanne. Bobby and Whitney. R. Kelly and that underage girl. Say it ain’t so, Jay and Brandon.
Denver Broncos QB Jay Cutler is sick of WR Brandon Marshall’s shit and he’s not gonna take it anymore.
“I support him and stuff, but it’s always something with him right now,” Cutler told a small media contingent at Dove Valley in a wide-ranging, surprisingly candid interview.
…The third-year quarterback admitted about Marshall, only half- joking, that “He’s not my favorite person right now.”
“This wasn’t like his DUI and other stuff he’s had. It was an accident. But, still, stuff like this can’t happen,” Cutler said. “Hopefully, this is the last.”
As to Marshall’s claim that the horseplay that led to his arm injury was a wake-up call,
“I mean, a DUI is a wake-up call. He’s had many wake-up calls,” Cutler said. “He’s been in (coach Mike) Shanahan’s office many times. I’ve been up there with him and he’s said the same thing, ‘It’s a wake-up call, a lot of things are going to happen.’ Blah, blah, blah. Until he goes out and proves it, we’ll see what happens.”
It’s hard to see Jake Plummer or Brian Griese stepping up like Cutler. Plummer would just walk away and Griese would trip … sorry, fall over shitfaced in the driveway and knock himself out before showing any kind of leadership.
Cutler didn’t stop there. He proceeded to call out Javon Walker, the left tackles, the kicker, management and the beer guy. It’s about time Denver had some leadership at the QB position. Hopefully that’ll keep him safe when the left tackle lets the blitz through on the weak side as revenge for selling him short.
Friday, March 21st, 2008 at
Don’t tell Denver Broncos owner Pat Bowlen money don’t matter. He’s running low and needs all he can get. The Denver Post reports that the Broncos canned eight employees including the director of media relations and the manager of DenverBroncos.com.
Cost-cutting has been taking place for a while with three coaches being let go and replaced internally. In addition, players have been forced to eat gruel out of troughs and share jock straps.
Bowlen might want to consider asking head coach Mike Shanahan for a loan. He just sold his house for $16 million and “recently broke ground on a megamansion that will take a year to complete”.
Specs on the old house?
It includes three Jacuzzis, an 80-square-foot steam room, a 108-square-foot sauna, a 2,299-square-foot heated garage, a 2,100-square-foot swimming pool, a 165-square-foot hot tub. It was built in 2000 and has slate mission tile on the roof.
Two buildings are on the land, one with three bedrooms and six fireplaces; the other with two bedrooms.
The new house will be 30,000 square feet. That’s got to be a kick in the dick for Broncos employees who are worried about their jobs.
As if that wasn’t odd enough, the land for the new home was previously owned by Janet Elway who received it from her divorce settlement with former Bronocs QB and Baltimore Colts destroyer John Elway. (Not like I’m still bitter or anything.) That has to be an awkward conversation at Bronco reunions.
Tuesday, February 12th, 2008 at
Fresh off the heels of his new multi-million dollar contract with ESPN, Rick Riley just threw himself a 50th birthday bash complete with karaoke, unfortunately for Riley, he cannot sing karaoke.
…Reilly may have topped [Elway's steakhouse co-owner Tim] Schmidt in the ear-splitting category with his rendition of Me and Bobby McGee. “This is a little something I wrote with Kris Kristofferson,” he joked.
“He sounds like he’s losing his voice,” one woman said. “That would be a good thing,” her friend offered.
The party was held at Lannie’s Clocktower Cabaret in Denver and its good to know that Riley and his friends, like Elway pictured above, are spending all that hard earned cash with style. Doesn’t Riley look like he’s enjoying himself there? He’d better just remember, easy come, easy go…just ask Spree. In any case, happy birthday Rick Riley, you signed a deal with the devil, might as well enjoy the party while it’s hot.
Photo by Bradley Joseph via Rocky Mountain News