We didn’t have a chance to speak on so-called Super Sunday with Manchester United vs. Liverpool and Arsenal vs. Chelsea yesterday. We’ll let the picture above do the talking about the first match as 10-man Liverpool were crushed 3-0 by United. Unsilent put the second match in five words yesterday. Chelsea made Easter tolerable by beating the Arse 2-1. The win put them five points off of leaders United while Arsenal dropped to third. If Chelsea lost, I would have spent the rest of the day thinking about the betrayal of 8 lb, 6 oz newborn baby Jesus by Bill Richardson.

Don’t think this changes our opinion of Avram Grant. Even a blind pig finds a truffle every now and then. Oh I don’t want to get in trouble. A blind, kosher pig. Whew…

Deadspin’s Dave Hirshey did touch on something else we couldn’t get to due to the sauced-up singing at Nevada Smiths and Central Bar as well as the man on Monday. Derby manager Paul Jewell.

Jewell took over Derby this season knowing he had an impossible task keeping them in the Premiership. He decided to go down fighting however no one thought he would lead by example.

News of the World has access to a sex tape made by Jewell of himself with a mistress. (Images may be NSFW although they are blurred out)

Jewell showing how he keeps his hoes in check by keeping his pimp hand strong.

NOTW describes an hour long bondage video made of Jewell and some lady who ain’t his wifey. He’s got some ‘splainin to do!

We could make the obligatory Spitzer comment about him not possibly being stupid enough to tape himself cheating but we don’t want to apologize down the road.

I just hope that one day me missus tells me to “fuck her in daylight on my car”. I’ll bang her up on my Trablant real nice.

Russell Westbrook let the PAC-10 know the answer in case they never heard The Chronic.

Unsilent linked this yesterday at Deadspin but we had to link it ourselves. Victim LeKendric Longmire is lucky that Russell didn’t follow that up with some bukakke.

Will Leitch’s new book God Save the Fan is out in stores TODAY and the Deuce encourages you to go out and buy the book. Either click at the bottom or just head to your local bookstore and find it. Will’s done a lot for the Deuce while over at Deadspin so its only right that we return the favor and support him in this endeavor. Congrats Will, now the next big thing will be for all us bloggers to start writing actual literature. In most instances, that cannot be a good thing, in this instance however, it is good. Buy it, read it, love it.

Get the Book Here

New Hotness: Jonathan Ogden

Ravens tackle Jonathan Ogden has come a long way from his initial Gebco efforts. He’s learned one or two more steps and dropped the acting. Too bad he didn’t have a chance to use those dancing skils last night. Witness the brilliance that is Jonathan Ogden. Jazz hands!!

There’s no way the Los Angeles Kings won’t win the Stanley Cup this upcoming season. This has to be one of the strongest first lines ever put together since LFO.