So, first Emmitt Smith did that “Just for Men” commercial highlighting (pun intended) his talents seen on “Dancing With the Stars.” I’m sure most of you have seen the commercial, hair dying, hospital gown, terrible acting and all but, just in case, here it is…
Let’s get something straight. I am sure most men would agree with me that the only way they can be encouraged to take dance lessons has nothing to do with pointing out Emmitt Smith had fun on a television show where sports stars dance alongside Tom Delay wearing animal prints and tight shiny pants. Especially since most men don’t dance like Hall of Fame running backs. Emmitt Smith: running back, dancer, beard dyer, and savior to brides who don’t want to look like idiots during their first dance? Yeah, I didn’t think so.
Shawn Johnson’s got a stalker and he was arrested near the set of Dancing With the Stars, where Johnson is dancing out the last 3 minutes of her 15 minutes of fame. Robert “Pedobear” O’Ryan, the alleged stalker, jumped a fence at the studios and was arrested while trying to meet the object of his obsession. Police found in his car a shotgun and Colt .45 and a bunch of Johnson memorabilia, which, presumably, did not include any of her underwear.
Shawn Johnson is safe, but probably a bit freaked out, and her mom Terri says:
“This incident has caused us severe emotional distress, we have been on the move ever since and have not been able to rest at all for fear that this disturbed person will attempt to make good on his statements and attempt to harm my daughter and possibly us as well,”
I’d say she’s been on the move, lots of moves on that Dancing With the Stars show. Although, since I never watch it so I have no clue how she’s doing on it. She could move like a Wookie in a tar pit for all I know.
Bail for O’Ryan was set at $35,000 and a restraining order is in place for him to stay 100 yards away from Johnson and have zero contact with her. Yea…that’l do it. Just tell him not to stalk her. I’m sure no one has done that before. She’ll be totally safe now. Just remember kids, nothing can stop the Pedobear.
Old and busted: Cincinnati Bengals New hotness: Miami Dolphins
Not many among us are prescient beings. Most of you go through life stumbling from one unfortunate incident to the next hoping that it’s not as bad as the one before it. There are the few who have the ability to see the future. Like Nostradamus and Warren Buffet, Chris Henry is one of the few.
Talented former Bengals receiver Chris Henry, on house arrest, said by phone he ”would love to play for” the Dolphins, Saints or Cowboys. But it’s hard to fathom Bill Parcellspursuing someone who has had multiple legal problems and faces a potential NFL suspension after a March arrest for misdemeanor assault and criminal damage. ”That situation isn’t what it seems,” Henry said. “I regret a lot that has happened.”
Me thinks the man that tolerated a raging coke fiend like LT should have no problem with Henry. He’s embraced Ricky Williams and ostracized Jason Taylor. We see where his priorities are and so does Chris Henry.
I watch a lot of crappy reality television shows, but I’ve never been a fan of the Dancing With The Stars series. How this is interesting television is more curious to me than why I can fart so much more potently after 10pm than at any other time of the day. Watching “celebrities” dance with professional dancers and then judging them on their (lack) of abilities never, to me, seemed like engaging television. Nevertheless, people are interested in this crap, and sports personalities looking to keep their names in the lights have latched on to this in a big way. Mark Cuban, Floyd Mayweather Jr. and Helio Castroneves are featured in this season’s Dancing With The Stars and since I am a gambling man, I looked up what the odds were that any of these yahoos would actually win this thing like Emmitt did last season.
Bodog has Mark Cuban at 23-2 odds of winning, easily some of the worst odds of any contestant on the show. This pretty much makes sense because he is, after all, just one gigantic computer geek.
What surprised me was that Mayweather doesn’t have the best odds of the three, at 6-1. You’d think he would have the best control over his feet and body what with all the dancing around you have to do in the boxing ring. I guess the bookies do not believe that shuffling around a ring translates onto a dance floor.
Helio is looking the strongest with 11-4 odds. I can only assume the oddsmakers have given him these odds due to either his Brazilian roots or because drivers have to move their feet quickly to push the clutch in to shift their automobiles. Amazingly they have Helio at better odds than such veterans of the stage as Wayne Newton and Marie Osmond. The bookies are laying down a bold statement with this. Either race car drivers have a heretofore unknown ability to really cut a rug…or oddsmakers are bigots. Shocking, I know.
There was a rumor that Dirk Nowitzki was being considered for the show before Cuban until comments about potential rival Wayne Newton were made public.
“I got to take what he gives me and he doesn’t really give me a lot … So I’ve got to make other stuff happen … help out on dips more; hit the ass harder, as hard as I can, get some extra points; if I have a shot to make a move, try to knock it out and if I don’t, move my partner and let someone else have a shot.”
Needless to say judge Carrie Ann Inaba was not pleased and suggested adding Cuban to the show instead.
“I’m tired of hearing about how Wayne’s going to take him out of his game and any lack of confidence. You’re just not supposed to have that, all right … I wasn’t the best of dancers and didn’t have the best of skills, but you were not going to shake my confidence. We need all of our dancers to be confident, to be resilient, to be persistent and that’s what I want to see. If I don’t see it during warmups, I’m going to be highly upset … because I need to have it going into that first show on September 24th. They’ve got to be confident and really sure about what they’re doing.”
No worries about that with Mark Cuban as one can see in the picture above. He always brings his A-game. I can’t wait until he breaks out the butterfly like his idol Patra and blows the competition away.
This never gets old (warning – uncensored version so you might want to turn it down at work)