Someone better keep an eye on Tommy Tuberville. He already walked out on dinner and now he’s not returning calls. Look, Cincinnati. I didn’t want to be the one to tell you this but he’s probably cheating on you already and yes, she’s way hotter and lets him eat 5-way chili off her naked body anywhere on demand.

Current Bearcat recruits are already upset over the way Tuberville is handling himself when it comes to commitments. Demetrius Monday decommitted from Cincinnati after getting the Heisman from the coach and his staff.

Pebblebrook High School defensive back Demetrius Monday de-committed from Cincinnati on Thursday after never hearing from new coach Tommy Tuberville.

“I think it’s messed up,” his father, Bryant Monday, told the AJC. “You wait until a few weeks before signing day to say something? They could have told us a month ago.

“Now we’re left with less than a month until signing day to figure something out. He had other scholarship offers but he hasn’t talked to those coaches in six months … since he committed to Cincinnati on July 25.

Monday’s father said Tuberville and his staff wouldn’t return their calls and is trying to get kids to “de-commit on their own”.

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution also reports that Jaleel Carter followed suit after getting the Tuberville treatment.

“They said they were bringing in their own guys, so all the guys that are committed are out luck.” Canty requested a conversation with Tuberville. “They said he was busy, trying to get his staff together.”

Tommy Boy’s break-up style is gangsta. Tuberville made news when he walked out on potential recruits during dinner in order to take the Cincinnati job. That’s just the kind of guy Bearcat fans should want to take over after Brian Kelly’s controversial exit to take the Notre Dame job. At least he told his players he was leaving at dinner even if he previously lied to them.

Carter cut off communication with other schools that were interested in him and there’s less than a month left until signing day as he noted. The kids Tuberville is screwing over are pretty much stuck as schools come closer to filling their recruiting needs if they aren’t complete by this time. This should be a harsh lesson to them and others who get the shaft from major programs. Things don’t get much better even when you report to campus as a student-athlete. Prepare for disappointment unless someone gives you a name as strong as Johnny Football. It doesn’t count if you name yourself.

On the other hand, you’re rolling as a head coach. You can walk out on the restaurant check, show up at the new place and clean house without remorse or repercussions. Tuberville should be getting a note from Bobby Petrino complementing him on his style any day now. Congratulations on hiring a guy who has no problem smacking his bitches up, Cincinnati.

At least we’ll always have this:

Arkansas Razorback WR Quinta Funderburk just raised the bar for haircuts among college athletes.

Funderburk got this fresh cut in Virginia before he took his girlfriend to her high school prom. Check out Complex Magazine for more angles of this magnificence which he jacked from the 80s. He probably wore Skidz and BK’s while getting his hair did. At least he didn’t go with the Shane Mosley S-Curl from Saturday night. Grease up the pig. Never the helmet.

If crime has the Fulmer Cup, hairstyles need their own award. Perhaps it should be a gold-plated spray can called the Randy Watson Trophy. You know what? The hell with mental masturbation. Send in your nominations for the best hairstyles in college sports by email or in the comments. They’ll be featured on the Deuce as we find or receive them. Once we have enough entries, we’ll hold a tournament to see who gets the right to hold up the first annual Randy Watson Trophy. Why stop there? We’ll present the trophy to the winner if possible. If not, we’ll find a way to let him know, get it to him and get his acceptance speech.

H/T to Complex Magazine.

Damn damn damn. Rich Rodriguez is already off to a poor start in Ann Arbor. Recruits are already dropping expectations and goals faster than Warren Sapp dropp…What? Too soon.

Incoming freshman receiver Ricardo Miller wants to emulate his idol Braylon Edwards on the field.

“I feel most certain I can be the next Braylon Edwards,” Miller said, referring to Michigan’s all-time leading receiver (3,541 yards), who is now with the New York Jets. “I’m not saying this because I’m arrogant or cocky. I just feel that the work I put in on the field and off the field, and the type of player I already am with my height and my hands …

“Braylon Edwards was an idol to me. He’s known for going up and getting balls and being very versatile with his route running. So with that in mind I just feel I can be the next No. 1 receiver that everybody will talk about.”

Yeesh. The picture above should tell one everything they need to know about Edwards’ hands.  There’s no doubt he goes up for balls. Getting them is another story. Miller probably shouldn’t equate his hands to Edwards’ unless he’s planning on dropping more passes.

Then again Miller could be talking about having the same hand speed and velocity when he punches people out of jealousy because they’re friends with people more famous than him. Hopefully he’ll take responsibility for his successes and failures unlike his idol.

Whatever Miller means, it’s probably safe to assume that he has no intention of catching staph infections like Edwards and everyone else on the Browns including mascots TD, CB, Chomps and Trapper.

That Jimmy Kimmel is one funny dude. Watch this vid of Jimmy poking fun at LeGarrette Blount and the punch that wiped that stupid friggin smirk of that dude’s face at Boise State last week.

This video wont be up long so hopefully you are reading this early this Friday morning, but here’s the punch heard round Iowa last night. Oregon’s LeGarrette Blount punched Boise State’s Byron Hout right in the mouth, knocking him down, after Hout apparently said something to set Blount right off. Class all around fellas!

Possible Heisman Trophy candidate Blout did offer an apology for his actions:

“I just apologize to everyone that was watching this, ESPN, national TV, I just apologize to all of our fans, all of Boise’s fans. It was just something that I shouldn’t have done. I lost my head,” Blount said. “I don’t know what kind of disciplinary action coach Kelly has in store for me, but whatever it is, I’m ready to take it full force.

“A few guys wished me a good game, a few guys pushed me and I just kind of lost my temper.

“I couldn’t have envisioned anything worse than this right here. I tell you what, that will never happen again. I will never lose my head again. I should have handled that situation a lot better than I did.”

Sweet of the kid. Least he took responsibility for busting that guy in the jaw. Hell of a great way to open up the college football season though. 1 game in and we’ve already had an assault and battery. Next week someone is gonna get shived in the gut on the sidelines for stealing someone’s gatorade.

Oh, by the way, Boise won 19-8.