I think Spike Lee would agree that brown soldiers need love especially when their balls is all blowed up. Are you listening, Phil Savage? Maybe the VA should get involved.

Browns coach Romeo Crennel is in a state of panic. His team sucks again, Derek Anderson has lost it and Brady Quinn can’t seem to keep his mind on football between online dating and endorsing crazy old men for president. He had to draw the line somewhere and he decided on politics.

The Chicago Tribune reports that Crennel has asked players to keep politics out of the locker room in order to maintain team unity. After all, one can’t expect people to have differing political opinions and manage to maintain some sense of order and decorum.

“Politics are their politics as long as they don’t interfere with the team,” Crennel said Thursday. “That’s my main concern, that they don’t get on a soap box in the locker room and get it going back and forth about a particular candidate against another candidate. That’s why the ballot is a secret ballot when you go vote.”

Never mind that the Redskins seem to be able to handle political discussion in the locker room without WWIII breaking out. Crennel better be careful before people start calling him out for making Bryant Gumbel look like Malcolm X. According to Dave Chappelle, keeping your politics quiet is a white thing.

“White people do not like to talk about their policial affiliations. Its a secret. You ask a white guy who’s he votin for, like ‘Hey Bob, who you gonna vote for?’ ‘Dave! Dave, woah, woah woah. Take it easy. So I was fuckin my wife in her ass, right? And let me tell you, it was something else.’ ‘Yeah yeah, but who are you gonna vote for?’ ‘DAVE! Dave, come on with the voting! I’m trying to tell you about fucking my wife in the ass, and you’re asking me all these personal questions.’ “

Let’s not be too judgmental. Crennel is trying to avoid the potential meltdown which has been known to happen. We’ve see what happens when certain political issues such as the military come up in a locker room.

They serve with honor. It’s kill or be killed. It’s understandable why soldiers feel as strongly as they do about war. Express yourself, Kellen.

That’s it, Cleveland. It’s the pants that make you suck. Not dating site icon Brady Quinn.

The Browns wore chocolate brown pants for the first time in their history when they were molested by the Giants last Monday. Don’t let the final score fool you. Browns fans weren’t feeling the loss or the pants. Their loss had everything to do with the pants and nothing to do with the porous o-line and medicore quarterback.

Brady probably liked the molestation and the pants. We know he loves him some chocolate. This all sounds a bit racialist if you ask me. The Deuce does not approve of anti-deuce sentiments or behavior especially from anyone native to a city whose river has caught on fire.

Some people when they retire have dreams of being a movie star, a television analyst, a musician, or even the writer of the world’s next great novel. Not Orlando Brown, he dreams bigger…and fatter. Orlando Brown is bringing the Washington DC/Baltimore area their first Fatburger franchises, 10 of them to be exact.

For those of you who haven’t been out to the West Coast, Fatburger specializes in fresh, juicy, not fast food big ass burgers that are, for comparison sake, a step up from the utterly delicious In-And-Out burgers and will provide a bit of competition from the area’s own Five Guys franchises.

Brown may be blind as a bat in one eye for all we know, you might remember him as the guy that was hit in the eye by an official’s weighted flag and had his career ruined because of it, but the man can spot a tasty ass burger and has a dream.

“When I was hurt, I kept saying ‘When I’m done with football I’m going to need something to take that place,’” said Brown, who said he became a fan of the chain during his recuperation.

“I can afford [to get by] with the lawsuit money,” he said, “but I want to work and get my hands dirty.”

The idea of someday owning the entire chain or at least being a major player in the operations is also on Brown’s list of goals. He said he hoped to turn his South Carolina farm into a cattle ranch and Fatburger’s primary beef vendor. But for now, he said he is excited about making his mark with his first restaurant.

“At my place, the customer is always right,” Brown said. “Even if they throw the burger at you [because they don’t like it], you just go back there and cook them another one.”

Apparently that void has been filled by attempting to become a burger franchise magnate. I’m kind of excited to have a Fatburger here in the area, although truth be told, I’d rather have an In-And-Out or White Castle here. Hell, I’d even take a Sonic. While I dig the Five Guys burger, it is nice to have the variety.

The first location of his chain of burger joints is going to be in Columbia, MD and Brown has his eyes in Washington, D.C., next to Howard University Medical Center and College Park, MD near the new IKEA shopping complex with other restaurants to open in Baltimore and elsewhere in the DC/MD area.

Dream big fat man, dream big.

From Maryland Daily Record

Photo Credit: Eric Stocklin