David Witthoft here is 11 years old and he’s been wearing the same Brett Favre jersey every day since he got it for Christmas when he was 7 years old. That is an interesting human interest story there in and of itself, but the Deuce really wants to know how this child still fits in this jersey? In looking at the picture of young David, its clearly because he has zero body fat whatsoever and possibly because he stopped growing at age 7. Look at this kid, he’s got to be rivaling the Olsen Twins in amount of bones protruding out of his body. Those aren’t shoulder pads you see, they are shoulder blades. Someone give this poor kid a freakin hamburger, with cheese…and bacon. Mmmmm bacon.
Sports Illustrated has named Brett Favre their Sportsman of the Year and that is kind of a big deal. Forget that he, right now, isn’t the best player in his sport he isn’t even the best player at his position in his sport or even the greatest player in all sports right now. SI does counter all of that line of thinking because being the Sportsman of the Year does not mean you have to be the best in all of sports or even the best at your position in your sport…you just have to generally a good guy (ie: not arrested recently), who conquered some adversity (ie: drugs and alcohol), sorta plays the game right (ie: gunslingin’), and hasn’t done anything to spurn the media’s ever-loving eyes (ie: talks to them and gives them quotes).
I guess I can accept it, it just never ceases to amaze me how far the media will kiss the ass of the “gunslinging” quarterback of Green Bay. Honestly, this man can do no wrong. He could beat his wife and the press would say:
“Sure he beat his wife, but thats just Brett Favre. Brett Favre just doesn’t take any guff from no one, including his wife. Brett Favre doesn’t follow the rules, Brett Favre makes the rules. Brett Favre made all the right hits too, right in the kidney and stomach so not to bruise her face. Brett Favre knows a pretty face when he sees one and wants to keep it that way. Brett Favre’s wife beating technique is unorthodox, but it really gets the job done. If you’re gonna have to beat your wife, you can’t ask for a better wife beater than Brett Favre.”
So the editors at SI believe there is no better sportsman than Favre. No, not Brady, no not David Ortiz, no not the golden boy Tony Romo, no not…well it goes on like that really. I believe there must be better sportsman out there this season in all the realm of sports. Hopefully Deadspin’s SHOTY awards might find a more worthy contender.