Tuesday, August 26th, 2008 at
That’s it, Cleveland. It’s the pants that make you suck. Not dating site icon Brady Quinn.
The Browns wore chocolate brown pants for the first time in their history when they were molested by the Giants last Monday. Don’t let the final score fool you. Browns fans weren’t feeling the loss or the pants. Their loss had everything to do with the pants and nothing to do with the porous o-line and medicore quarterback.
Brady probably liked the molestation and the pants. We know he loves him some chocolate. This all sounds a bit racialist if you ask me. The Deuce does not approve of anti-deuce sentiments or behavior especially from anyone native to a city whose river has caught on fire.
Friday, July 18th, 2008 at
Poor Brady Quinn. He just can’t stop the rain of gay rumors. He certainly does himself no favors when he rocks it like this and this. He finally decided to fight back against The Others since he can’t hold himself back.
TMZ has learned that a dating site has been using Brady’s image for months in M4M ads.
A rep for the Cleveland Browns tells us Brady had no knowledge of the ad saying, “He was not involved in posting photos.”
Brady’s lawyer has already taken action and has sent a cease and desist letter to the website today, demanding all photos of him be removed ASAP.
Interesting denial by the Cleveland rep. Brady also claims that he’s straight. We can’t wait until he holds a press conference to announce his heterosexuality. That always works. Just ask Mike Piazza. Oh wait, what’s that about him and Sam Champion? Never mind.
Maybe Brady should take some advice from Al Reynolds. An off the cuff presser isn’t the move. You need to go with someone sympathetic like an off-brand entertainment reporter who probably hawks Colonblow on those infomercials you always see after getting home pissy drunk off of Henny and skunk at 4 AM.
If Brady really wants to prove he likes vagina, he should keep taking pictures of himself grabbing packages, leave his picture on the dating site and start answering ads directed to him. A couple dates wouldn’t hurt. He might as well even give a couple handjobs just to show how secure he is in his heteronesses. All denials do is make people more suspicious. We don’t want a suspicious Kellen Winslow. Our favorite soldier might crash his douche rocket again and no one wants that.
Friday, April 4th, 2008 at
The Cleveland Three-Card Monte isn’t as famous as the Cleveland Steamer yet but give it some time. If Phil Savage pulls a couple more moves like this, the whole world will know the Cleveland Monte. Perhaps not as well as the Donkey Punch but close enough.
Browns GM Phil Savage resigned QB Derek Anderson to a 3year, $26 million extension in part for his play last season but also to spite the Cowboys and Dolphins. Wha?
Savage admitted that he was worried that Dallas would sign Anderson then trade him to the Dolphins and he just couldn’t have that.
Dallas would have signed Anderson to a big contract and included a “poison pill,” which would have made it impossible for the Browns to match the offer.
Dallas would have compensated the Browns with first- and third-round picks. They would be the Cowboys’ original selections, No. 28 overall in both rounds.
Dallas would have traded Anderson and their other first-round pick – No. 22 overall, obtained from the Browns last year – to Miami for the No. 1 overall pick in the draft. The Cowboys then would select Arkansas running back Darren McFadden with that pick.
Savage was suspicious that Bill Parcells wouldn’t return calls before the Feb. 29 tender deadline. He just couldn’t live starting a douchebag at QB and we have to respect that.
There would be nothing to see here if that were the only reason Savage boxed out the Cowboys. However our resident conspiracy theorist “also thought the Cowboys would lend Parcells a hand in the transaction partly to tweak the Browns for looking good in the Brady Quinn trade of a year ago, which resulted in a much lower pick for the Cowboys than anticipated.”
Yeeeeah that’s it. The Cowboys already have their own douchebag who dates never-been singers and chokes under pressure. We’re surprised Romo wasn’t in the hot tub with Leinart and Lachey. It must suck when you don’t get invited to amateur hour. Tom Brady’s probably laughing at these clowns and think, “Dude, I was so never like that.” as he blocks out the fact that he dated the same Tara Reid as Kyle Boller.
Wednesday, July 11th, 2007 at
Was at the Smashing Pumpkins concert at the 9:30 club last night…so you’re getting a dose of links until I sober up and think straight again. Hell of a show. Welcome to the Constitutional.
Tuesday, July 3rd, 2007 at
When you gotta go…GO ALL THE WAY! Welcome to the Constitutional.
- One of the most complete summarizations of why ESPN is completely out of touch and useless I have ever read. 100% Injury Rate
- Superman is done with football dreams and wants to take on Basketball. Winning the Turnover Battle
- Brady Quinn is the Player of the Queer. Sedano (great insomniac radio there)
- No way this is real…but this deer gets pwnd! The Scoreboard
- Not at all sports…but its the most bat-shit crazy weatherman out there. Awful Announcing
- The Dwarf Games took place last weekend…Youtubes of little people running fast soon to follow. Larry Brown Sports
- Great series called Real Football Factories, you should watch. Dude Abides