You want to be the Big Stomach King, boss man? If you can win eating, you get $60 with a side of death. Just ask Chen. Oh wait…

A mystery eater surnamed “Chen” met his demise at the sweet, tasty hands of rice and cheese buns during a Dayeh University competitive eating contest in Taiwan. He was about to win the Big Stomach King eating contest and the $60 prize money when he started “vomiting relentlessly, passed out and died”.

Chen had eaten two buns and some of his roommates’ food when he became sick. He had just pulled ahead of 30 teams to take the lead. The university dean said that Chen had competed in the contest before with no ill effects. The university’s theory is that he ate too fast instead of too much. Yes. That’s right. He ate too fast at an eating contest. What did he think it was? It’s not how fast you eat but how well you eat.

I smell a coverup. Why is no one questioning the roommate’s food? Was someone trying to poison the roommate? Did gluttony save him? Is there murder afoot?

I just hope the contest took place in a back alley like the Kumite. “Chen! You break my record! Now I break you! Like I break your friend!”

Chen must have thought, “Very good but bun don’t hit back”. Sorry, Chen. Bun do hit back. It really do.

Maybe Frank Dux beat Chong Li at the end of Bloodsport but think how much better it could have been if he faced Karate Monkey in the final fight.

Karate Monkey say, “Break my record. Now I break you like I break your friend.”

I imagine this is what it’s like for Jon Kitna every season when he predicts a 10 win season and then gets his ass handed to him.

That’s a Tony Jaa exit right there. I don’t know who the winner is but he’s definitely ready for the Kumite. Maximum points for knocking out Lil’ Wayne too.