It must suck to go home and talk to your damn weiner kids after work if you play for the Detroit Lions. Even the 1-15 Dolphins weren’t this much fun to watch last season. It’s not just the fact that the Lions are losing. Anyone can do that. They’re keeping it interesting. They’re giving teams points by running out of their end zone. Players are stealing other players’ luggage. The team is grabbing QBs as they walk by Ford Field. The Matt Millen effect is still at work.

Opposing teams are doing their part to remind the Lions how much they suck. They’re beating the shit out of them and they’re reinforcing the beatdowns with verbal reminders. It’s gotten so bad that Lions players have stopped fighting back.

“[The Jacksonville Jaguars] were cracking jokes,” Lions running back Kevin Smith said. “They thought we were a joke. They said we (weren’t good). They were saying that to me, that I (wasn’t good). And I told them they (weren’t good), too. And they said, ‘Well, not as bad as (you).’ And I said, ‘You’re right.’ (Because) we haven’t won one game.”

Someone hasn’t been pwned like that since Billy Madison pwned that kid for hating on Donkey Kong. “You know something? You suck!” Rod Marinelli might want to consider letting Daunte Culpepper play in the chinchilla coat. There’s something to be said for losing in style.

Don’t you love seeing the mascot jump in the pile when athletes are celebrating a major win or title? They never get any love even though they hyped up the 11th man for the whole season. You’d think a team would throw the mascot some groupie scraps like the girl with a second head or missing several fingers and toes but nope. Mascots get nothing and like it.

All glory be to failblog.org. After watching this video, you’ll gain a better understanding of why athletes want nothing to do with mascots. No one wants to catch the suck. Maybe Shaun Livingston messed with Clippers mascot Brevin Knight and got the horns.

It would be wrong not to acknowledge Clutch’s attempt to salvage what little dignity a person in a mascot outfit can have left at the end.