Bill Romanowski Archives


You probably thought you heard the last of Bill Romanowski after the Broncos hired Josh McDaniels to be their new head coach. You thought wrong. He’s going to get a job with the organization whether they like it or not.

The former linebacker has been invited for a meet and greet with the new coach but he intends to leave with a job. Romo tried to get an interview for the head coach position but he wasn’t considered even though he came up with a 30 page Powerpoint presentation which we assume consisted of him drawing a bunch of angry stick figures beating each other on the computer screen with a Sharpie. Bronco smash!

Romo hopes to be placed in charge of the team’s health and well-being if he can’t join the coaching staff. If there’s one person who knows about physical and mental well-being, it’s him. If a player doesn’t take a shot in the ass, that’s a punch in the eye. Don’t finish your reps? That’s spit in the eye. The team might want to reconsider their invitation. They might want to watch him from their facilities once he finds out they gave the strength coach position to someone else.

“Well, he will cheat on you again. That’s a promise. And when he does, don’t come crying to me, because … I’ve had it with you. You’re so fucking weak!”

He’ll get all Single White Female on them. If you doubt that, check his comments about Raiders owner Al Davis.

Should [Al] Davis show an interest in his services, Romanowski would zip off another PowerPoint presentation, one that’s specifically designed for the Raiders

“He’s still sharp as a tack,” Romanowski said. “You’ve got to be on your game. He’s testing you when he’s talking to you.” Right now, Romanowski is focusing on his impending meeting with McDaniels, studying up on the former New England offensive coordinator turned head coach.

Sharp as a tack? Oh yeah, just like George Steinbrenner. Davis has made all the right decisions. Actually they would be a great duo. We take that back. He should go to Oakland immediately.

It’s never a good idea to go for the balls during a sporting event where hitting is encouraged and required.


Gold Coast center Brett Delaney found out the hard way after grabbing South Sidney’s Jaiman Lowe’s balls during a match last week. If you’re gonna pull a move like that, you better make sure you keep a man down. If you don’t, this could happen to you.

Of course, Delaney denied the ball massage.

“No way,” he said. In a tackle you don’t let go of someone when you grab them. I can’t remember if I did have him [by the testicles], but it wasn’t intentional.”

“It might have been in that region, but I don’t go out to try and rip blokes’ balls off. I just can’t really remember what happened, to be honest. I think I had him on the shorts, and then I got knocked out. It’s all a bit of a blur.”

“When I touched his balls, I was in ecstasy so you can imagine it’s very hard to stay focused or know what you’re doing.”

Ok, maybe he didn’t say that last part. The blur was from getting his arse handed to him in a sack by Lowe. Delaney said he was still suffering from headaches and the sweats. He also required 10 stitches to close a “gaping wound” above his lip. Good.

“It was one of those things. He probably thought something went on, but it was nothing intentional, I’ll tell you that – especially at that time of the game. We were under the pump a bit. It was just a normal tackle, mate.”

Ain’t nuthin’ normal about that tackle. Delaney was on that pump like a farmer on a milk cow. He’s lucky he didn’t get stomped but some men have honor unlike him and Bill Romanowski.