Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009 at
The Lakers better not go on a losing streak otherwise Ron Artest might go back to the Henny and skunk with a bit of Brand Nubian-style beatin’ down punks on the side. The drama and quote machine is back in the spotlight after an interview which will appear in the Sporting News magazine on December 7th. All topics were covered from St. John’s to the infamous fight at the Palace.
The interview also touched on Artest’s partying ways. It’s a good thing Tiger decided that there was sex in the champagne room otherwise more people would have noticed Charlie Weis crying in a bathtub full of mac and cheese. They’d also be making noise about Artest’s admission that he used to drink during halftime when he played for the Bulls.
“I used to drink Hennessy … at halftime,” Artest says in the interview, which hits newsstands this week. “I (kept it) in my locker. I’d just walk to the liquor store (near the stadium) and get it.”
Anyone who has been to the United Center knows there might as well be scalpers selling Hennessy and Courvoisier along with pints of Gordon’s Gin outside the arena. Artest probably cashed his paychecks at the same place he bought the hen-rock.
Artest admitted that he partied every day and night while playing for St. John’s. His drinking kept up when he reached the NBA.
“When I was a 19-year-old father, whew. I was a single pimp! I was wild. A lot of marijuana and alcohol—even before (that age). … I (still) party and I have fun, but not like I used to. I used to drink every night and party every night.”
Who knew being a single pimp father was the key to getting your party on? Shawn Kemp and Jason Caffey must have stories for days. They sure have kids for months. If there’s anyone that should be drinking every day, it’s a New Jersey Net. At least it’ll give him an excuse for sucking so much.
We didn’t even get to the part of the interview where he discusses how he still wants to fight Ben Wallace. Oh, he’s willing to get his suspension on again.
Wednesday, September 9th, 2009 at
Hold me closer, Tiny Dancer!
The Deuce finds Orlando Brown’s lack of creativity disturbing. How dare he attempt to mimic Deuce patron saint Najeh Davenport? There’s only one Deuce and he’s a model in Pittsburgh. You wanna make some magic? Do something original. Breaking in a residence and dropping a deuce is played out like Kwame
and the fucking polka dots. Who rock the spot? Biggie!
Former Brown and Raven Brown was arrested for breaking into his ex-wife’s foreclosed house and trashing it.
According to court documents, Mira Brown accused her former husband of entering her home while she was away on vacation. The two have been divorced since 2004.
While she was on vacation July 21 through Aug. 28, someone broke the front storm door, entered her home, tore down the basement curtains, defecated in a basement toilet and ransacked her closet, according to court documents.
She also received two text messages from Orlando Brown’s phone before she returned, one of which stated that he had toured her house, the records say.
Deuce fail. If you’re going to break into someone’s place and drop a deuce, make it count. Najeh thinks the closet is a fine place to start. If you choose to be classy and drop one in the vicinity of a toilet, make it an upper decker. Make a Jackson Pollock in a room of your choosing. Perhaps one with carpet and plenty of upholstery. The possibilities are endless. Maybe we’re being too hard on Orlando. It’s bad enough being named after Orlando Jones. Combine that with getting an angry pirate from Jeff Triplette and it’s easy to see how a washed up OT might lose his mind.
Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009 at
“Go and wait for me in the big bed.” Silvio Berlusconi, Italy’s 72 year old corrupt clown of a prime minister and owner of AC Milan is quickly becoming one of our favorite people to follow. Berlusconi (or Papi as the hoes call him) is under fire for flying models and prostitutes in from all over Italy and throwing parties at his house. He’s also in trouble for taking an 18 year old girl to school in the biblical sense. He calls himself her “little daddy teacher”. Does his limo turn into a gelato truck at 2:30 PM or whenever Italian kids get out of school? That’s worse than robbing the cradle. That’s robbing the uterus.
Wednesday, May 7th, 2008 at
Time to get paid, blow up like the…too soon? Bob Huggins is getting some serious paper from West Virgina. His contract was made public and shows that he stands to make at least $20 million over the next 10 years before incentives.
The contract does note that he can be fired for being drunk or using drugs.
The contract stipulates Huggins can be fired for substance abuse or habitual intoxication affecting his job performance. A West Virginia spokesman said that is a standard clause in employment contracts.
I wonder if there’s a graduation rate clause. Somehow I doubt it.