Who could forget this Nick Nolte worthy mugshot? An athlete could only hope to have this dead sexy on his arm. Kim Mattingly is back. This time she’s bringing some family and she will cut off that TV if you don’t take her insults like a man.
Mattingly acknowledged confronting his mother, Kim Mattingly, on Tuesday afternoon in her Evansville home after she had sent him a text message insulting him, his girlfriend and his father, Vanderburgh County Sheriff’s Deputy Nathan Espenlaub said Wednesday.
The deputy wrote in an affidavit that Mattingly acknowledged pushing his mother down and spitting on her. Mattingly, who surrendered to police Tuesday evening, also acknowledged smashing a patio table, flipping over a second table and damaging a patio door and a window.
The affidavit states that Taylor Mattingly, who was drafted by the Yankees in the 42nd round in 2003 but no longer plays professionally, said his mother had been drinking and that when she gets drunk she calls him and makes rude comments.
Insulting three people in one text message is rather impressive. Kim claims that Taylor became angry with her after she couldn’t get a car dealer to trade his car in for another one. He blew his lid when cut off his satellite TV service. He came over to her house within 15 minutes and and that’s when things popped off. You can’t cut off Home Improvement in Indiana and not expect to reap the whirlwind.
Care to bet any money on the next time Donnie Baseball goes back to Evansville? Kim probably insulted his 100% cotton pants. That would set any son off. Maybe he could trade Kim and Taylor for players to be named later or a bucket of week old, room temperature shrimp. The Pirates would probably take them for a couple top prospects plus Jack Wilson and Freddy Sanchez. That’s just how they do.
Minor league baseball teams will do anything to get people to games, even appealing to demographics that most sports teams ignore, such as pregnant women. The Brooklyn Cyclones had a salute to pregnancy on Sunday where they offered a centerfield Lamaze class before the game, pregnancy food favorites such as pickles, ice cream, anchovy pizzas etc., a run/walk around the bases, a ceremonial first pitch by women in their 3rd trimester and if any woman gives birth at the stadium before the end of the game, the entire family gets tickets for life.
All pretty nice stuff for them to give out. There was one more giveaway though, and its a doozy. If any mother agrees to name her child “Brooklyn” or “Cy” will get season tickets for life.
Sadly, the kid doesnt get anything for being named after a minor league baseball team except relentless teasing for the rest of his/her life for being the child of an asshat.
The former actor and current deputy sheriff (Bedford County, VA) was talking about his policing and lobbying efforts against kiddie porn when he dropped this gem.
“I’ve seen my fair share of child pornography, and I want to do something about it.”
He went on to discuss his police work, reality TV career and the virtues of Ron Jeremy who is apparently a certified special education teacher and talented musician in addition to being hung like a donkey. It was all Len Kasper and Bob Brenly could do to get back into the game.
I can’t wait until Steve Pocaro of Toto sings “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” during the seventh inning stretch then tells Len and Bob that he’s done some research and learned that the root chakra is his taint.
If anyone knows the whereabouts of Bartolo Colon, please call Ken Williams. The Chicago White Sox lost their pitcher and have no idea where he is. He was rehabbing in Charlotte, was supposed to start at AAA Charlotte and is scheduled to start for the Sox on Thursday. Somebody check the Taco Burrito Palace #2 or Carmen’s.
What’s more in the tradition of 4th of July than a mixing of Japanese and American culture? I mean, isn’t that what the Nathan’s Hot Dog Challenge is all about? No? Oh well, whatever. In keeping in this idea that we created, we’ve decided to pull together some of the craziest moments in Japanese baseball that we could find on the interwebs…we were just that bored.
1) In Japan, you can pitch backwards:
2)In Japan, this is the only way to charge the mound:
3)In Japan, pitchers will stand up to anyone…not really:
4)In Japan, even the shirts catch balls:
5)In Japan, people can fly:
6)In Japan, you run away from fights…not to them:
7)In Japan, people can hit balls on a rope…LITERALLY:
8)In Japan, you find out what happens when you pitch a ball with a bazooka: