The war is over! The Seattle Mariners and Seattle strip club DreamGirls finally reached an agreement to end their legal battle over the club’s presence 400 feet from Safeco Field. The pros on the field are going to have some competition from pros on the stage.
The Mariners agreed to drop their appeal of a lower court decision allowing the club to open after the owners agreed to several concessions.
Under the settlement, the club operators agreed to certain limits on the building’s outdoor signs and a canopy along First Avenue South and Occidental Avenue South, including the size and degree of lighting.
No pictures of women on a full-color outdoor video display will be shown on days when events aimed at children are taking place at Safeco, such as Little League days. Only messages with text would be permitted on those days. The agreement covers up to 15 baseball games and up to 12 other events such as graduations.
When displayed, those pictures cannot be sexually explicit. The video sign must be on First Avenue South and can’t be visible on Occidental Avenue South, where many people walk to Safeco.
The club also will not use barkers to attract customers or use amplified sound outside the building. No live adult entertainment will be allowed on the roof, and the club will employ private security guards to deal with unlawful activity and loiterers.
That’s cute. Does team management think the restrictions are going to keep Adrian Beltre away from the club? If there’s anyone who can take a knee to the balls, it’s him. Fuck a cup. If club owner Roger Forbes is smart, he’ll get all subliminal and pay players to use strip club music while batting. Mike Sweeney could come out to a little Crüe. Imagine Ichiro stepping into the batters box to the big booty shakin’ sounds of Uncle Luke (lyrics NSFW). Doo Doo Brown!!
Ozzie Guillen wants you to be honest. Anyone of us would be crushed if we got dumped by someone on Full House. You might not go full meth head like Stephanie Tanner but you might dip a bit heavy into the sauce. Whatever you do, it’s not ironic despite what Alanis Morrisette might say especially when it comes to Dave Coulier. Chicago pickup baseball may not have sold as many albums as You Can’t Do That On Television but it knows the definition of irony.
The shooting happened during the second game of the day for the Cardinals after the gunman became upset with Hall for pulling him from the game, the Cardinals’ captain told WGN-Ch. 9.
The captain, a 23-year-old man who did not want his name revealed, told the station the player tried picking a fight with the coach in the dugout until the captain intervened and kicked the player out.
The player retrieved a semiautomatic handgun, returned to the field and chased after the coach, firing repeatedly. At one point, the player stopped to reload his gun, said the captain.
Hall appeared to have been hit twice, in an arm and in the back, the captain said. When Hall fell to ground, it appeared the player wanted to continue firing at him, but he had run out of bullets, the captain said.
Why does everything go wrong when a coach tells a player to sit his five dollar ass down before he makes change? Don’t nobody know nuthin? What up with this? What’s this world coming to if a stop the violence game kicks off some violence. Next thing you know the West Coast All Stars will be rapping about stopping the violence. Oh wait..
It’s great to see baseball players giving back to the community especially when they can be hypocritical about their own actions. A-Rod took some time off before his error filled night on Tuesday to address students at Milford Mill Academy in Baltimore County about the dangers of sterioids.
“I am here today simply because I made a mistake,” Rodriguez said, according to a transcript provided by Powered By Me! “Now, how many of you here have made a mistake? Well, I’m here because I made a mistake, and one of my missions in life is to turn a negative into a positive.
“And to actually tell the truth, it feels pretty darn good and liberating. It is very important to me professionally and spiritually. At the end of the day when we look into the mirror, we learn from our mistakes, it’s something we should feel proud of and become a better version of ourselves.”
Let’s take a quick look at how taking steroids has been a negative for A-Rod. Thanks to performance enhancing drugs, he has a multi-million dollar contract, dates actresses and singers and suffered no long-term consequences besides the initial public furor and a book by Selena Roberts. Yeah kids, steroids make your life miserable.
It’s probably a good thing that A-Rod is out there talking to kids about the dangers of using steroids but it’s difficult to see him being an effective messenger when he suffered no serious consequences and didn’t admit using PEDs until he was called out. To his credit, he is working with the Taylor Hooton Foundation and talking to select groups of students around the country on a regular basis. That’s more than the majority of named players have done to prevent the use of PEDs by student-athletes.
There’s nothing more endearing than an alcoholic clown unless it’s an alcoholic clown played by Bobcat Goldwaith. Unfortunately there won’t be a Shakes the Clown II: Electric Boogaloo. No more mime beatdowns, kids. Luckily, we have the second generation spawn of Bozo the Clown to fill the void.
The Angels saved birthday parties and condemned mimes to doom by calling up pitcher Trevor Bell on Wednesday night. Bell’s first major league start resulted in 5 1/3 innings, four runs and nine hits in the Angels’ 10-4 win against the Blue Jays. Manager Mike Scoscia said Bell had “moxie” but he didn’t mention that he’s the grandson of the original Bozo the Clown. If the kid has any sense, he’ll work with his pitching coach and come up with a Bozo pitch. Allow us to play Leo Mazzone for a minute and suggest that he give the gas face while throwing a submarine pitch and screaming about poutine. If that doesn’t say clown, I don’t know what does. Sorry, do.
With the first pick of the 2016 draft, the Washington Nationals select…this kid. This 10 year old kid hit 2 solo home runs, a 2 run homer, a 3 run homer and a grand slam to do the unthinkable and hit a cycle of home runs. Absolutely insane and an extremely rare event. Check it out.
