Auto Racing Archives

We Were All On Vacation!


Being a British secret agent? Priceless. Losing your job because your wife was one of the prostitutes involved in the Max Mosley nazi sex orgy? Nah, that’s priceless.

In an extraordinary turn of events yesterday, MI5 was forced to deny through Whitehall channels that the orgy had been a “sting” that it had set up to discredit Mosley. “Any suggestion that the service was involved in setting up Mosley is total nonsense,” a senior Whitehall official said.

The official did disclose, however, that one of MI5’s officers had left the agency after his wife’s involvement as a call girl in the orgy became known. “I cannot talk about individual cases, but we do expect high standards of behaviour from all staff at all times, both professionally and privately,” the official said.

The officer forced to resign was working in surveillance. How the hell do you miss seeing this? The MI5 officer’s wife Mistress Abi was the one that sold the story to the News of the World.

Mosley is the current head of F1 racing and was caught on tape engaging in an orgy with a Nazi theme. His father was a well known facsist in the 30s and 40s who witnessed Adolf Hitler’s wedding in addition to heading up a fascist party in Britain.

Straight cash homey.

It Was A One In A Million Shot Doc

Always make sure that when you’re rally racing, you have plenty of padding underneath you.

Time To Round Up A Posse Comitatus


Yeah I know it’s the wrong movie but Jackie Gleason’s fat and dead so I think I’m in the clear unless Jackie Mason wants to make Caddyshack III. Zing!

We got ourselves another Cannonball Run. The lead isn’t Burt Reynolds but a guy of German descent named Alex Roy who just completed a cross-country drive across 13 states in 31 hours and 4 minutes. It’s kind of like Roadhouse 2. It just isn’t the same without Jack Dalton.

Roy Boy started in New York and finished in Santa Monica. He covered a distance of 2794 miles and averaged 95 miles an hour. At times he reached 160 mph. He beat the record by over an hour.

His blue BMW was named “Team Polizei” which we just find endearing. We assume his clothing was designed by Hugo Boss. A better car would have been a brown BMW with a sidecar.

Take it back to the old school, playboy.

Alex Zanardi Is A Hard Muthaf–ka

Alex Zanadrdi don’t play. He’s not about that fake studio gangsta b.s.

In case you don’t remember Zanardi, here’s a video clip of his last CART race in 2001.

In case you don’t speak German, he managed to walk away from the crash and fly himself to the hospital in his personal helicopter. Oh, never mind. He lost both legs but he managed to survive and return to racing on the World Touring Car Championship circuit.

This Sunday, Zanardi’s racing in the New York City Marathon. He’s competing in the handcycle division. He’s only doing it to prove a point.

Race car driver Alex Zanardi was chatting with a manager at a pasta manufacturer he endorses about getting involved with the New York City Marathon, for which the company, Barilla, sponsors a prerace dinner. Zanardi, who lost both legs in a horrific crash during a 2001 race, quipped that he could compete in the marathon.

Silence. Then the manager said, “You’re crazy.”

“Up to that point, I was just joking. When he told me I couldn’t do something,” Zanardi said, “in my head, it’s ‘You’ve got to prove it now.”‘

He’s had less than a month to prepare. What’s your excuse, bitch?