Former Phoenix Suns PG Kevin Johnson is running for mayor of Sacramento. Magic Johnson has a real estate empire including a bunch of movie theatres in the hood and pretends to have the AIDS. Charles Oakley feels left out so he’s decided to make his name in the world of cooking.
The former Knick enforcer has already taped three episodes, one featuring John Starks, where his former teammate cooked Oak’s fried chicken and macaroni salad, pasta and sausages, and smothered steak and rice. Ingredients for Oak’s beef short ribs in cinnamon wine sauce include 18 beers and two or three Cuban cigars, and the directions begin, “Drink 10 beers.”
The Oak should continue to have special guest stars show off their culinary skills. Sam Perkins should appear to make his Mary Jane Marsala. Oliver Miller can show off his lard-infused bacon rolls. Set your DVR for Stephen Jackson’s Strip Club Snapper and Andray Blatche’s Hooker Hanger Steak.
Oakley should have no problem making his mark. If Rachel Ray can do it, he can do it. We haven’t seen Cafe Oakley yet but it has to be better than this:
The over/under on total wins for the Washington Wizards is 40 games. FOURTY GAMES?? You kidding me? How is a team that finished 42-40 in the 2005-06 season and 41-41 last season (with a TON of injuries) predicted to win less than 40 games? Gilbert, Caron and Antawn must be licking their chops if they know about this…and if I had access to an online gambling site I would be too. While we’re here, here is one homer’s look at the Wizards roster for the year. I dont see how this team doesnt win 41 games…maybe because its all offense and no defense, i dunno.
G. Arenas – Easily one of the top 5 scorers in the league A. Blatche – Finally figuring it all out, very talented all around player C. Butler – Easily one of the top 40 players in the league A. Daniels – Quality veteran bench player B. Haywood – Needs to produce more with Etan out A. Jamison – Getting old, but just shoots more and more from outside R. Mason - Young bench scoring, not much else D. McGuire - Rookie unknown, could be an great defender O. Pecherov - Essentially a rookie, can score and rebound off bench D.Songaila – Experienced scorer, good size and outside shot D. Stevenson – Experienced defender, can score when he gets the chance E.Thomas – Done for the year with bad heart N. Young - Rookie, but can score in bunches, will be big off bench
He said he didn’t do it. Sure Andray, we know the truth. Really though, he coulda avoided this whole mess if he just used John Tricky’s “Ho’s 4 Happiness”, sure its normally for politicians, but c’mon, you will filalbustanut! Whomever made this…I thank you.