A-Rod Archives

Buy One of A-Rod’s Balls!

There’s probably somewhere in the neighborhood of one million different jokes that I can make here about A-Rod’s balls, but no, I am going above the low brow humor that I normally use and just giving it to you straight. You can soon purchase Alex Rodriguez’s 500th home run ball which he hit in old Yankee Stadium on Aug. 4, 2007.

So, you too can be a part of history and pay a ton of money for a ball, hit by a guy, who admitted he once used performance enhancing drugs to help hit balls.  Awesome.  Ask Todd McFarlane how buying home run balls has worked for him lately?  Yea, he’s the wisenheimer who bought Mark McGwire’s 70th home run ball for 3 million dollars. BRILLIANT!

 From The Globe and Mail

How Do You Spell Hypocrite, Kids?


It’s great to see baseball players giving back to the community especially when they can be hypocritical about their own actions. A-Rod took some time off before his error filled night on Tuesday to address students at Milford Mill Academy in Baltimore County about the dangers of sterioids.

“I am here today simply because I made a mistake,” Rodriguez said, according to a transcript provided by Powered By Me! “Now, how many of you here have made a mistake? Well, I’m here because I made a mistake, and one of my missions in life is to turn a negative into a positive.

“And to actually tell the truth, it feels pretty darn good and liberating. It is very important to me professionally and spiritually. At the end of the day when we look into the mirror, we learn from our mistakes, it’s something we should feel proud of and become a better version of ourselves.”

Let’s take a quick look at how taking steroids has been a negative for A-Rod. Thanks to performance enhancing drugs, he has a multi-million dollar contract, dates actresses and singers and suffered no long-term consequences besides the initial public furor and a book by Selena Roberts. Yeah kids, steroids make your life miserable.

It’s probably a good thing that A-Rod is out there talking to kids about the dangers of using steroids but it’s difficult to see him being an effective messenger when he suffered no serious consequences and didn’t admit using PEDs until he was called out. To his credit, he is working with the Taylor Hooton Foundation and talking to select groups of students around the country on a regular basis. That’s more than the majority of named players have done to prevent the use of PEDs by student-athletes.

A-Rod’s Got Woman Problems


Who ya got? Daily News or the Post? It’s ragtime at the Deuce. Which one do you believe and which one of his ladies is on the rag?

The Daily News is reporting that A-Rod’s in danger of getting kicked to the curb because he’s not interested in becoming a super Jew. Skeletor’s pissed because he blew off an introductory Kabbalah class.

“This is certainly off-putting to Madonna,” said the source.

If he had any sense, he’d run before it was too late. However if you listen to the Post, the only thing he’s running away from are his kids.

Page Six reports (and we use the term lightly) that A-Rod is blowing off his kids to spend Thanksgiving with Skeletor and her horde. He’s hosting her and her kids at his place. When reached for comment, Travis Henry asked, “What the problem is?”. Needless to say, his ex Cynthia is pissed.

To be a fly on the wall when Madonna throws the turkey at him for not being Kabbalah-approved and calls him a soft-ass bitch while she’s railing him like a champ. It’s not good to cry in front of the kids. They’ll never respect him. Hopefully he’ll invite Menudo to the dinner as well. Wait until they get the roofie turkey.

I was going to write more but I’m already bored with this story. I can only imagine what all five readers are thinking.

Cougar Country Ain’t No Joke


From Page Six:

METS hottieDavid Wright is a charitable guy, but at his annual fund-raiser the other night, he was the one in need of some help. A spy at the Hard Rock Cafe in Times Square for his “Do the Wright Thing” event watched in shock as Wright was “mobbed by a swarm of trashy-looking cougars. Middle-age women with bad ’80s hair were practically pushing down little kids who were trying to get baseballs signed.” Wright was overheard pleading, “Ladies, calm down! Please, relax.”

A-Rod probably got upset at missing out on the cougars but quickly realized they were too young for him.

Run! Go! Get To The Chopper! Do It Now!


This isn’t news but we’re still amazed at A-Rod’s obsession with He-Man villains. Page Six reports that A-Rod and Lady Skeletor choppered off separately to the Hamptons to chill at Seinfeld’s house. What’s the deal with that? There’s no word on whether Michael Richards showed up to racially insult the Yankees third baseman. He’s not too far away from dating someone who actually looks like the Predator. I don’t know. Let’s say Bacary Sagna of Arsenal, Maria Shriver or Amy Winehouse.