If it’s not Joe Biden, it’s Ocho Cinco. Huh? Oh you didn’t hear? Chad Ocho Cinco almost blew the election for Obama. How you ask? Let Mike Florio tell you.

Per a league source, Johnson had a Barack Obama banner stashed in each end zone, which he planned to retrieve and unfurl if he had scored [this past weekend against Houston].

One can only guess what the banner said. When will black on black crime stop? We’re headed for self-destruction I tells ya.

Shocking. More pandering to the black man. First the Rooney Rule, then Mike Tomlin and now this. Dan Rooney hearts Obama.

We’re pretty confident Andy Rooney and Lynn Swann don’t heart Obama.

Hillary’s likely to counter Rooney’s announcement by going after Dave Wannstedt’s endorsement. He knows nothing about being elite.

Looks like everyone’s getting on the Obama bandwagon.

Fox Sports reports that Oregon State has hired Brown basketball coach Craig Robinson as their next men’s head basketball coach. Robinson is Obama’s brother-in-law. The Clinton campaign will probably come out in support of Oregon in the next couple of days.

Fuck it. We already got political even though we said we wouldn’t. If getting political means pinching the squid then we’d sure like to get political with Amy Holmes. When it comes to looks, you can keep your HRC. We brought it back to the gutter. You happy?

We didn’t have a chance to speak on so-called Super Sunday with Manchester United vs. Liverpool and Arsenal vs. Chelsea yesterday. We’ll let the picture above do the talking about the first match as 10-man Liverpool were crushed 3-0 by United. Unsilent put the second match in five words yesterday. Chelsea made Easter tolerable by beating the Arse 2-1. The win put them five points off of leaders United while Arsenal dropped to third. If Chelsea lost, I would have spent the rest of the day thinking about the betrayal of 8 lb, 6 oz newborn baby Jesus by Bill Richardson.

Don’t think this changes our opinion of Avram Grant. Even a blind pig finds a truffle every now and then. Oh I don’t want to get in trouble. A blind, kosher pig. Whew…

Deadspin’s Dave Hirshey did touch on something else we couldn’t get to due to the sauced-up singing at Nevada Smiths and Central Bar as well as the man on Monday. Derby manager Paul Jewell.

Jewell took over Derby this season knowing he had an impossible task keeping them in the Premiership. He decided to go down fighting however no one thought he would lead by example.

News of the World has access to a sex tape made by Jewell of himself with a mistress. (Images may be NSFW although they are blurred out)

Jewell showing how he keeps his hoes in check by keeping his pimp hand strong.

NOTW describes an hour long bondage video made of Jewell and some lady who ain’t his wifey. He’s got some ‘splainin to do!

We could make the obligatory Spitzer comment about him not possibly being stupid enough to tape himself cheating but we don’t want to apologize down the road.

I just hope that one day me missus tells me to “fuck her in daylight on my car”. I’ll bang her up on my Trablant real nice.