Tuesday, August 23rd, 2011 at
8:26 am
Now that the NFL is back in full swing, sports fans all over the country can return to their true passion: beating the living crap out of each other. Evidently, California is the breeding ground for this new phenomenon, as NFL sources indicated Monday the league was planning to cancel the yearly “Battle of the Bay” preseason match-up between the two “rivals” in Oakland and San Francisco. Evidently, after the long lockout, these model citizens were ready for some football:
“They were just constantly wailing at each other without regard to who was there,” [San Francisco Mayor Ed] Lee said of the fans. “This is a family outing, for residents and visitors and people who want to see the game, not for people to look for people they don’t like, then saying bad words, then getting into it.”
Eh, the last couple years I’ve had a hard time seeing sporting events as “family outings.” First off, if it’s truly a family outing, get better security and remove the drunks, fighters, and, oh, I don’t know… maybe THE GUNS?!?!?!?!?! Secondly, if you’re a parent, do some freaking research. Caveat emptor, fools. Thirdly, no typical “family” of four or more can afford to attend a football game, so stop selling it as such. Lastly, this was in San Francisco? What were the Niner fans mad about, greenhouse gases?
One of the victims, a 24-year-old man who reportedly was wearing a T-shirt reading “F— the Niners,” was shot several times in the stomach. Police said he managed to make it to stadium security for help despite the injuries.
The other victim whose condition was upgraded is a 26-year-old man who was beaten unconscious in an upper level stadium restroom during the fourth quarter.
Another shooting victim was treated after receiving superficial facial wounds after the game.
Shots fired?!? Jeez, so when did San Francisco turn into Detroit? Take heed Raider fan, you’ve just been punked. At least you’ve got a few more weeks until your home opener against the Jets to turn it around. Al Davis is watching you…

My eyes! Zee goggles… zey do nothing! Nothing!!!!