Ray Ray Got That Gospel In His Bones

Super Bowl Media week started today and I thought it’d be fun to guess some of the things that Ray Lewis will say to reporters. Remember, he is the lamb bone of god now, or however that phrase goes.

“And so the almighty spoke in to my helmet and told me, Ray, son, are we human? Or are we dancers?”

“And he who cast the first rock towards my kingdom will suffer a grievous injury from my leap of faith onto the pile of already tackled players.”

“I have seen the mountaintop! And it is littered with the trail of the dead who dare step to me and mine outside of nightclubs.”

“These tears you see streaming down my face? They are for all mankind. I am legend.”

“Ed Reed is a destroyer of worlds and although he is my teammate and my brother he will suffer an eternity of hellfire and brimstone for what he has done to lesser men on this mortal plane.”

“Only the righteous man walks the path of the unencumbered, limbs akimbo, PCP induced dancer.”

And this is probably the only thing Ed Reed will say before dropping the mic, “Any y’all wanna play some dice?” He’s the best.

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