One is a decrepit monkey skeleton. The other is a legendary broadcaster who refuses to eat vegetables. And now, they hate each other. It all started a few nights ago when TMZ cameras caught Al Michaels outside a Hollywood bistro (jeez, this gossip writing is almost too easy). Feeling flush with confidence after crushing a 20 ounce Cowboy steak, Big Al gave a big negatory when asked if he thought the Oakland Raiders would ever win another Super Bowl while under the helm of long-time zombie master owner Al Davis. If that wasn’t enough, Michaels twisted the knife into Davis, much like he would a poor, defenseless, liberal broccoli plant: Read the rest of this entry

But you already knew this, right?

It absolutely pains me to see Strikeforce become the red-headed stepchild of the fight game as the UFC toys with shuttering the organization altogether after acquiring the company in March.

Although UFC was interested in several fighters, one of the top prizes for them had to be Alistair Overeem, the “fighting champion” who at one point appeared to prefer boxing exhibitions halfway around the world to fighting with top-flight security guards competition in the UFC. Well, like my days of peering into women’s locker rooms with my zany friends at Angel Beach High School, Overeem has turned a new leaf, agreeing to join the UFC to fight Sable sodomizer Brock Lesnar.

Fight fans will note that Lesnar was seriously humbled by Cain Velasquez last October at UFC 121, losing the strap, and then gaining another life-threatening bout of diverticulitis. He reemerged recently to hunt prairie dogs and consume beef jerky and declare himself good as new. Works for me.

Roll around on the ground with me, LA Times:

“Brock is a big name, a dangerous guy, and this is a dream matchup,” Overeem said Tuesday.

“I want to see this fight myself. Overall, I’m a different fighter. A striker, athletic, big. These are going to be two big trucks going at it on a collision course.”

The 6-foot-5, 260-pound Overeem, 31, is a former K-1 kickboxing champion. He most recently defended his Strikeforce belt in June with a unanimous decision over takedown specialist Fabrio Werdum, who had previously defeated Fedor Emelianenko.

Lesnar, 34, has been out of action since losing his UFC heavyweight belt to Cain Velasquez in October at the Honda Center. Lesnar has been suffering from the intestinal ailment diverticulitis.

The Dec. 30 winner will be first in line to fight the winner of a Nov. 12 fight between Velasquez and Junior Dos Santos.

Lesnar never got to fight Dos Santos after the last season of the Ultimate Fighter. Which was fine with me because I wanted to stop watching so many fights and spend more time with my kids (bursts into laughter). I bet myself I could type that sentence without laughing…looks like I get to buy myself some bestiality porn.

If you’re an NFL die-hard, you probably spent at least a few moments this weekend reviewing the lists of cuts as NFL teams downsized their rosters in preparation for opening weekend. Every year, you hear a few surprising names: the guy who showed up too fat (Bryant McKinnie), the draft pick who can’t shed the bust label (Vernon Golston), or the reigning two-time Pro Bowl safety who just doesn’t “fit” in with his team because of an unfounded criminal investigation. Wait, what?

And so it goes for Brandon Meriweather, Darius Butler (former 2nd round pick), and David Garrard, he of the 90+ QB rating last year. Cuts like these tell us three things: Read the rest of this entry

Earlier this summer I criticized Manning’s deal, in part, because he had gone under the knife for another neck surgery; never a good sign, especially for somebody with Manning’s remarkable starts streak. I thought the timing for paying him $90 million could not have been worse; regardless of how many jerseys or tickets he sells. The Colts need(ed) upgrades in the backfield; as well as on both front lines.

Sure, it’s easier said then done to replace your team’s most valuable player, and arguably the most valuable player in the league to any team. After all, Manning is asked to do more then any other player in the league; and the fact that his numbers are what they are is nothing short of remarkable. But if the Colts had any idea, or even an inclination, that Manning was going to be out for even part of the postseason, or maybe week one, then they should have made moves to bolster the weaker points of the team anticipating that a) Manning might not be at 100 percent until late in the season for a possible playoff run or b) whoever holds the fort down for Manning won’t be able to effectively replicate his Herculean efforts.

Without Manning, this team is bad; like top 10 draft pick bad. Maybe not the “Suck for Luck” sweepstakes but it’s close. Here’s hoping that Manning gets those nerves working again soon because it’s not like there is anything else going on in Indiana.

Five innings of work, two hits, no runs, no walks, and four strikeouts. Not bad for a guy who hasn’t pitched in the big leagues in over a year. Rumors of his minor league dominance were legitimate as he managed to hit 99 mph and embarrass more than a few Dodgers with biting curves and 90 mph change-ups.

Steve didn’t quite resemble the guy who dominated on June 8, 2010, but for one night, he was good enough. The long road back to that night is still many months away; the Nats stated he’ll be limited to a workload similar to that of Jordan Zimmerman, who underwent “Tommy John” surgery in 2009. That would mean we’ll have approximately 25 starts and 160 innings to witness Steve’s magic in 2012. For a Nats team that is aching for some relevancy in the midst of another challenging season, they’ll take it.