The Seattle Sounders Let Their Fans Live Like Refugees
Let’s see what Cavalier fans would do if they didn’t get free chalupas when the team scores 100 points. They’d probably turn Cleveland into Detroit. Free Taco Bell is all they have left. Who cares if it consists of donkey testicles, oats and asbestos? It’s the closest they’ll come to winning anything.
On the other hand, Seattle Sounders supporters are butthurt over their options:
The Sounders are usually on top of their game when it comes to the fans but really, Drew? You have no problem giving away all kinds of showcases on The Price is Right but you can’t even give the fans a bean burrito if they score three goals? Bob Barker would slap you around like Happy Gilmore. The prize is wrong. A haircut? No one gets a haircut in Seattle except Microsoft employees and area Mormons. Food is what the people want. Food is what they should get. Try offering free haircuts to Columbus Crew fans. This is what will happen. You want that on your hands, Carey?
Seattle, you give your incredible support away too easily. Demand what is rightfully yours. Free food for all! It’s the Pacific Northwest way.
H/T to Darren Rovell.
UPDATE: Apparently Sounders fans do get free food. They get two free tacos if the team gets a shutout. On one hand, it’s not just one free taco. It’s two. On the other, they’re Jack in the Box tacos. No tacos may be better. Stick with the haircuts, Seattle.
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