I’ve decided to let the Italians worry about Nelson Mandela thanks to staying up late and following Questlove on Twitter. Eddie Murphy had a hand in a failed 1989 sitcom called “What’s Alan Watching”. Questlove somehow found this and tweeted it out for the rest of us to witness.

Ellen Cleghorne was also in the cast as was Fran Drescher. A token 80s SNL cast member and a woman who made the most annoying sound in the world until Dumb and Dumber. How could CBS deny this brilliance?

Anyone who has seen Coming to America knows that Semi has to do anything Prince Akeem does. Check out Arsenio Hall’s cartoon pilot

Chunky A, Florida Evans and Freddie from A Different World? That’s an Axis of Awesome. Too bad Eddie and Arsenio couldn’t have worked together again and combined live action with a cartoon like Paula Abdul in “Opposites Attract“. That video lasted way longer than either of their pilots. MC Skat Kat was the key like Freedom Williams. Eddie Murphy may have liked working with him especially if he was into scat.

H/T to Questlove.

Why the hell not? Americans don’t give a damn. Congress and state legislatures are populated by assclowns on both sides of the aisle. No one cares about qualified candidates anymore. In fact, being qualified for office is a disadvantage. “Oh you got you some book learnin’. The other guy said he’ll burn books. I like fire.” You better be against a whole lot of things and not know why. It’s amazing how cavalier people are when it comes to voting. Imagine if they were that nonchalant about their doctors. “She got a doctor coat on and said there’s something wrong with my neckbone. Sound legit to me. Apply gravy every four hours? Got it.”

I don’t know whether Carl Lewis is qualified for office but I don’t care. You don’t either. All you care about is whether you can have a steak and beer with him. Well you can’t. He’s a vegan. That should be a campaign killer especially in a Republican-leaning district but he’s likely running for state senate as a Democrat anyway.

Forget Lewis’ policies. Most voters don’t pay attention to the ones that really affect them. If they do, they don’t expect their representatives to have a firm grasp of the issues let alone address them in an intelligent or mature manner. If they did, our legislative bodies would look very different. Candidates just tell you what they think you want to hear anyway. Right, Mitt? People grab the superficial because it’s easier so that’s what they get. Let’s go to the video and see whether he can measure up to the tough standards of the New Jersey voter.

The 8th Legislative District leans Republican so whoever runs better not just love America. You better think we’re exceptional and God blesses us and no one else. What better way to show you love freedom than singing the national anthem.

It’s going to be tough going for Lewis running as a Democrat in the 8th. Being a vegan is not going to help him either. His opponents will compare him to Dennis Kucinich who at least has a hot wife (although no one knows how). Winning a couple gold medals isn’t going to do it. He better show that he’ll fight for his constituents.

A state senator who keeps his pimp hand strong is attractive. None of this limp wrist bullshit. Working out is good as well. Remember how former governor Corzine attacked Gov. Christie about his weight? No worries about that with a former Olympic gold medalist however the leotard and bubbles…

You’re set if you live in the 8th Legislative District. Forget the speeches, campaign fliers and debates. Everything you need to make an quick, uneducated decision is in this post. The Deuce does not offer political endorsements besides Luther Campbell for Miami-Dade County mayor so you’ll actually have to do some of this on your own. Pop pop that ballot! Breakdown!

Obviously, I love sports, I run a sports blog for crying out loud. I also, and you might not know this, love me some alcohol, especially free alcohol. Last night, these two great loves formed like Voltron into one fantastic event thanks to the good people of Ciroc Ultra Premium Vodkas when they invited myself and a bunch of other fellow bloggers and media members out to watch the Wizards play the Celtics at the Verizon Center.

The reason Ciroc was throwing this bash (other than to provide us with samples of their fine alcohol) was to promote responsible drinking and providing all event goers free metro cards so they could have a safe ride home after the game without any sort of drunk driving going on. I even personally took the metro home after the game. Buzzed driving is drunk driving kids, remember that.  Take a cab or public transportation if you’re boozing it up like a champ.

Anyway, I was there with Punte (aka Josh Zerkle aka Monday Morning Punter) from With Leather, the House of Punte Podcast and Kissing Suzy Kolber, Phil the main man from Gunaxin, Don Everest from TheMatadorSports and Kevin Burke from The Hoop Doctors amongst others….including the gorgeous Ciroc girls and Wizards cheerleaders.  You want pics? You got pics. Bam. Read the rest of this entry

We all know that Adam Dunn had his appendix taken out on Tuesday night, but what you might not have known is how Dunn diagnosed the stabbing pains in his side as appendicitis. This is how:

For real.  He saw that Holliday had the same issue and decided that perhaps he should seek medical attention. Does that surprise anyone that the only thing that made him think something was seriously wrong with the stabbing pains in his side was a sports report? Can’t just be me, but then again this is Adam Dunn we’re talking about.

Now, maybe i’m just a product of a highly paranoid mother, but every time I have stabbing pains in my side I am freaking out that I have appendicitis…but then I fart and the pains go away and everything is cool again. Of course, my mother also makes me think I have strep throat whenever I have a mere sore throat, but hey, better to be safe than sorry amirite?

In any case, its a good thing Dunn watches TV I guess, he might’ve been in some serious trouble if he didn’t. That useless organ can kill ya if it blows.

From @ChuckGarfien via this Sox site

Imagine a sport that combines elements from soccer, lacrosse, rugby, basketball and God knows what else and you have this new sport they call Kronum. Sounds insane? Well it yes, it is a little insane.  But whatever, its a new sport and it looks interesting at least. Certainly cooler than Quidditch but somehow less cool than, say, Combaton. I’ll put it this way, its about as cool as you can get for a sport created in Philadelphia. Yeah.

All kidding aside, check out the video introducing the sport to see how it all really works:

Did you get all that?  Jesus, now THAT is one crazy new sport. A little too much going on? Probably, yes. They pretty much lost me at the circular field with 20 people running around on it and like sixteen different zones to run around in. I think if you can remember that scoring in a goal gets you 1 point, but more points the further out you go and shooting a goal through the circles gets you double then everything will be ok.

What I really think they need is to do something to help out that poor goalies. There is no way they are going to be able to stop anything with that gigantic net and tiny ball. How about 3 circles and a smaller, lacrosse styled net maybe? I dunno.

Still, as crazy as this sport is, I wouldnt mind seeing that madness in person just to see how it all works. To do that, however, you’d have to go to the suburbs of Philly where the sport was created. Not something that is high on my list, lemme tell you.

Anyway, if you still aren’t excited about Kronum…well dammit they already have cheerleaders. Bam:

There ain’t anything wrong with that. What else can this sport do to get better? One simple answer. Marching bands. Marching bands are necessary. If there are marching bands, then sign me up for season tickets when D.C. gets a franchise.

Here is the link to Kronum’s site, I buried it down here because it only seemed to work in IE, not Firefox and Chrome, it crashed them both on my machine and its no slouch.  Very weird.  WAY too flash intensive and a lil wonky. Clicker beware.

Via Thrillist