This isn’t much of a story however it’s the kind of thing you expect to happen in a soup kitchen and not the Yankees clubhouse. It’s also an excuse to use a picture of Pedro throwing Don Zimmer.

New York Yankees Hall of Famer Yogi Berra was taken to a Clearwater, Fla., hospital today after falling in the team’s clubhouse at Bright House Field.

Berra, 85, stumbled and fell backward after catching his shoe in the carpet as he went for a cup of soup. As a precaution, he was taken to Morton Plant Hospital in Clearwater, the Yankees said. He reportedly was alert and had spoke to his wife.

The cup of soup was probably the last thing left on the table. The Yankees starting rotation must have gotten there first. Berra wasn’t the only Yankee affected by the incident. A-Rod reportedly threw a temper tantrum because Cameron Diaz wasn’t there to feed him and he missed out on the buffet as well.

Victory didn’t die with The Jacksons just as it didn’t die with Pele, Michael Caine and Sylvester Stallone. Luckily the 1990 US World Cup Team and Def Jef were there to pick up the slack. You might remember him from previous tracks such as “Give It Here” which would later become Ben Roethlisberger’s theme song. This video has everything. Half-naked players doing the running man and OJ Simpson. Did you see the Juice in the “Torture” video? I think not.

You remember that beach scene from Rocky III with Apollo and Rocky? Not anymore.

You would think my hate would have decreased after getting used to the omnipresent backwards sunglasses, frosted hair and all around assclownery that is Guy Fieri. You’d be wrong. If anything, it grows by the day. Imagine my fury when I spotted the picture above on the subway the other day. The NY Lottery and MTA just made my enemies list. I’m not doing much with this impotent rage beyond cursing his existence and shaking my fist. Good thing there are people out there with more motivation.

The revolution has begun. Inspired by events in the Middle East, a group of brave, intrepid fighters decided to rise up against the evil that the Food Network unleashed on an unsuspecting populace. Someone broke into a car dealership and stole Guy Fieri’s $200,000 Lamborghini Gallardo last week.

Sometime in the wee hours of Tuesday, a thief climbed up to the roof of the dealership, attached a climbing rope, and then rappelled into the showroom, investigators said.

He – or she – then cut the lock to the dealership’s garage door and drove off with Fieri’s car.

I take issue with calling said person a thief. Short-sighted yes. It was a gallant effort but it’ll take more than stealing Fieri’s ride to stop him. It’ll take an all out effort involving all possible forms of transportation he may use in addition to blocking all media outlets. One man can’t do this alone. It’s going to take all of us to make his reign short like leprechauns.

By now, a sport everyone’s ignored for the last five months has all kinds of know-it-all experts. Needless to say, trying to fill out a bracket these days can be a little overwhelming. I’m not gonna lie to you: I didn’t watch too much college basketball this year. I started a new job, had to travel a little bit, and just couldn’t get into the season like I usually do. Does that mean I’m unqualified to pick a winning bracket? Absolutely. But where’s the fun in that? Besides, we all know the experts never win these things anyway. Well, I’m about to make those experts look like a bunch of Christian Laettners.  Round 1 today, Round 2 tomorrow, the rest on Wednesday.

Round 1:

East:

1 Ohio State v. 16 TBD: I’m not sure which conference TBD is from, but they’ve got a few teams in this tournament. I’ll take my chances with the top team in the nation. OSU Read the rest of this entry

By now, many are familiar with the story of Miguel Cabrera’s DUI arrest last month. The Detroit Tigers slugger was pulled over after police saw his car on the side of the road in Ft. Pierce, Florida near the Tigers’ spring training facility. He asked the cops if they knew who he was and continued to take swigs from a whiskey bottle while being arrested.

The Florida State’s Attorney’s office released their evidence against Cabrera on Wednesday and let’s just say it’s not pretty. The Smoking Gun reports that prior to his arrest, he was in a bar after closing. He was asked to leave by the manager and refused.

[Bar manager Fletcher] Nail said that Cabrera “leaned down close to my face” and said, “I will kill you.” Nail added that the ballplayer looked around the bar and added, “I know all of you, and I will kill all of you and blow this place up.” Another witness, a Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission agent, told investigators that Cabrera threatened him and Nail “by saying he had a gun in his bag for us.”

Cabrera left while cussing at Nail and a bar patron. Police found him on the side of the road. When they approached him, he threatened to kill an imaginary passenger and refused to cooperate.

After giving a Florida cop the middle finger, baseball star Miguel Cabrera shouted at police, “Fucking shoot me, kill me” when ordered to drop to his knees so that officers could handcuff him, according to a sheriff’s report.

The 27-year-old athlete, busted last month in Fort Pierce for drunk driving, also stated, “Fuck you. Do you know who I am? I’m Miguel Cabrera, I play for the Detroit Tigers, you don’t know my family.”

This incident is the most recent in a long line of incidents involving Cabrera and alcohol. In 2009, GM Dave Dombrowski had to pick him up from the police station the morning before a game after police were called to his house. He was found with scratches on his face and blew a .26. Since then, he’s been in rehab and also threatened restaurant patrons by claiming he had a gun.

Cabrera has exhibited an extremely disturbing pattern of behavior since he’s been in the majors and especially with the Tigers. One has to wonder if this is why the Marlins dumped him (besides being incredibly cheap). He’s one of the best players in baseball but with all due respect to Charlie Sheen, he’s slowly destroying himself.

The Tigers put Dontrelle Willis on the DL twice in 2009 so he could deal with his anxiety issues yet they can’t step up and make Cabrera sort himself out? Teams often ignore off the field problems as long as the player concerned continues to put up numbers and perform. He may continue to produce on the field but that shouldn’t be the limit of their concern.

The additional information released yesterday should encourage the team’s hierarchy to intervene and make him get the help he needs. It’s long overdue. They’re also better off doing it now than in July and August when it happens again. So far it’s business as usual.