Wanna build the perfect bracket? Impossible. But you can take your chances with me, a guy who refuses to use fact or reason when making his picks. Just like the guys on your local sports radio station! You can check out Round 1 here.  We’ll finish things up Thursday morning. Once again, keep in mind I know next-to-nothing about this past season of college basketball.

East

1 OSU v. 8 GMU: As I’ve mentioned before, most UMD students have gigantic chips on their shoulders. I’m not any different. I don’t really want to see Northern Virginia-based GMU win anything. They also have ugly uniforms and they screwed my bracket in ’06.  OSU

4 Ken-tuck-ee v. 5. WVU: The strength of the obscure ”Last of the Mohicans” reference coupled with coach John “If You Ain’t Cheatin’ You Ain’t Tryin’” Calipari has me leaning toward the ‘Cats.  Also, Ashley Judd. UK

3 Syracuse v. 11 Marquette: The first law firm I ever worked at was run by a guy who went to Marquette. He was really old school and a major influence in directing me to become a lawyer. ‘Cuse

2 UNC v. 7 Washington: Remember that time Roy Williams cursed at Bonnie Bernstein on live TV? That was awesome.  Even though he lied. UNC

Southwest

1 Kansas v. 8 UNLV: The Runnin’ Rebs got their token win in the first round. Now, back to Vegas to prepare for bachelor/bachelorette party season. Kansas

The reason why you tell girls at bars you're a race car driver.

5 Vanderbilt v. 13 Morehead State: For the last five years or so, I’ve read Buster Olney’s baseball blog on a daily basis no matter what. In a weird, meaningless way, I feel I owe him this much. Vandy

3 Purdue v. 11 TBD U: I first heard of the boilermaker drink in “Dumb and Dumber.” Game. Set. Match. Also “TBD,” in case you were wondering, actually stands for the “Tom Brady School of Design.” All applicants must have hot wives and ponytails. Purdue

2 Notre Dame v. 10 FSU: Another classic match-up of down-on-their-luck football programs on the basketball court. Notre Dame hate wins out here. FSU

West

1 Duke v. 8 Michigan: A re-match of the 1992 championship game that apparently didn’t happen. Sorry, but Tim Hardaway Jr.’s got nothin’ on the Fab 5. Duke

12 Memphis v. 13 Oakland: I didn’t actually look this up, but I heard Oakland had an NBA-caliber center and top-flight point guard. Good enough for me. Oakland

3 UConn v. 11 Missouri: Ever driven through Connecticut? It stinks. I also one time had a nice conversation with a UM journalism professor. And “Mizzou” is a sweet nickname. Mizzou

2 SDSU v. 7 Temple: I almost forgot John Chaney retired. In 2006. That’s what happens when you get old. The years start to blend together. Obviously, I don’t know too much about them. SDSU

Southeast

1 Pittsburgh v. 8 Butler: Pittsburgh is almost the new Boston. Their football and hockey teams are annoying. Their fans are annoying. I am also of the mind that Pittsburgh also chokes a lot in the tournament. Butler

4 Wisconsin v. 5 Kansas State: Bo knows the tournament. Don’t let me down, Bo. Wisconsin

6 St. John’s v. 3 BYU: As I realize how little I know about these teams, I am tempted to actually look up information. When in doubt, put yourself in the mindset of your mother’s hairdresser: ladies love Jimmer. BYU

2 Florida v. 10 Michigan State: Tough one. Thus, mascot fight: Spartans have swords. Gators got teeth. MSU

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