Archive for February, 2011

Lionel Messi may not line the ladies up against a wall, ask for 40 condoms and go to work like Robinho but that’s cool. He doesn’t need to go through all that cause he can make the pants drop like a Jedi knight.

What’s more embarrassing? A grown ass man chasing a kid half his age around an airport for some love or that his pants drop while he’s doing it?

So that’s how Real Madrid felt when Barca whupped them 5-0 earlier this season.

Legedu Naanee asks the Patriots why they're being such (expletive) and not letting Vincent Jackson catch the ball.

“Do you know who I am?” Anyone who’s a regular listener of Tony Kornheiser’s radio show** knows his signature line when they hear it. He gets away with the running joke. Chargers wide receiver Legedu Naanee does not.

Naanee was arrested and charged with public intoxication and resisting arrest after refusing to leave an active crime scene.

According to police, Naanee came across an active crime scene at about 3:20 a.m. and was told he would have to turn around or go in another direction. Naanee, who according to police had a “strong odor of an alcoholic beverage on or about his breath or person,” asked the officer why he was being “such an (expletive).”

The police officer said after several attempts to get Naanee to leave the scene failed, he told Naanee he was under arrest. Naanee “actively began to pull away” and the officer used pepper spray but Naanee continued to resist.

Eventually he was handcuffed and as he was being walked to the police car, Naanee said, according to police, “Do you know who I am? I am an NFL player and I’m going to sue your ass.”

Quoting Kornheiser didn’t work for Naanee. Maybe he should have channeled Joe Namath and said, “I want to kiss you”.

Naanee’s agent, Buddy Baker, waited until Naanee resisted and was handcuffed before he intervened. He told the cop that he “was going to ruin [Naanee's] career”. That’s a bit of an overreaction. Marvin Lewis is still a head coach. There’s always a place for an oft-injured, average to mediocre player on the Bengals.

Why wouldn’t a police officer in Indianapolis should know about the legend they call Naanee, the twin brother of Nanu and son of Mork from Ork? Shazbot! What’s going on there anyway? Football players have been getting wrecked in that city ever since Mike Vanderjagt became the “idiot kicker who got liquored up and ran his mouth”. Now it’s contagious. Imagine what’s going to happen when the Super Bowl comes to town next season. Somebody take the keys away from Leonard Little and Donte Stallworth!

It was only late last year when Naanee was accused of putting someone in the hospital with “internal head injuries and a broken nose”. He was later cleared of any involvement.

…Naanee, 27, was asked if it was a relief that police concluded he was not involved in the fight. Naanee said, “Not for me. I mean, I never really was a suspect in the first place, but I’m grateful that the police came out and said that.”

When he was asked about the lessons learned from the incident, he said, “You’ve just got to remind yourself that you can go out as much as you want but you’ve got to remind yourself about the things that can happen, and that’s really all I can say about it.”

Chargers head coach Norv Turner said he spoke to Naanee about late-night partying, which he said isn’t a good idea when there is an important practice the next day.

Well there we are. Everyone knows no one listens to Norv Turner. He should have told Naanee to party his ass off. He would have stayed dry or continually dropped his drinks before accomplishing his mission. It would have been just like the Chargers in the playoffs. One big fail after another. The Super Bowl was only a week ago. It’s way too soon for anything Chargers related to succeed.

I can’t believe I dropped references from Mork and Mindy in this post. I’m not far away from dropping some Small Wonder and Vic Tayback on your ass.

** The show isn’t as good as it was when it consisted of Kornheiser, Andy Polin and Nigel but what are you going to do? Listen to Mike Wise? Try to tolerate Colin Cowherd? Focus on work?

The Honey Badger Doesn’t Give A Shit

Wisconsin should have started 11 honey badgers on defense in the Rose Bowl instead of a bunch of oversized corn-fed boys. They would have stopped Tank Carder and TCU. You don’t think so? It takes several whacks from a machete to put them down. Wikipedia suggests using a club or a “powerful rifle” to kill a honey badger. Apparently their skin is “impervious to arrows and spears”. Here’s something the honey badger never suspected. Will it blend? Didn’t see that coming, did you? Stupid badger.

We could go on all day about the crazy nasty ass honey badger but we’ll let Randall fill you in. Here’s your nature lesson for the day.

Honey badger don’t care. Honey badger don’t give a shit. It just takes what it wants. Kind of like Cam Newton and his dad.

A Baseball Rose Not Named Pete

Ok, so this is a day late for Valentines day, but better late than never.  Say you want to get your special baseball loving girlfriend something special, but don’t want to go with the typical bouquet of roses.  Well, this guy Mark Ellingson came up with an interesting idea to cut away the leather from a baseball, and arrange it into a rose.  Thus was born…The Baseball Rose.  A three pack of roses will set you back $29.99.  Considering official MLB basballs will set you back $12.99 apiece, this isn’t so bad is it? I dunno, maybe it is.

Check out this video about the guy and try to guess if he has smoked ANY weed at ALL before this interview.

As a matter of fact, today is Susan B. Anthony day!  I think that a 3 pack of baseball roses would be the perfect gift to send your beloved in celebration of such a romantic holiday.

Certainly a lot nicer than getting your significant other this baseball rose….

*Shudder*

Moody, lazy, talented defensive lineman is seeking a new deal after a bit of a rocky relationship with his former team and the Redskins are swooping in to kick the tires. Wait, doesn’t this sound familiar?

In the past, the Washington Redskins have been accused of inexplicably ignoring the NFL draft in order to pursue free agents who, by definition, provide little value for the contracts that they command. Thank goodness those days are behind us…oh right:

Chris Russell of ESPN 980 was the first, as far as we can tell, to report that the Redskins will meet with Rogers on Friday. As we recently explained, veterans with four or more years of service who are released between now and March 3 become free agents and can sign with another team.

Rogers can play nose tackle or end in the Redskins’ 3-4 defense. His presence could make Albert Haynesworth expendable.

Oh well, thank goodness for that! Haynesworth is only a younger, substantially better version of Shaun Rogers. Rogers is also about as motivated to get into shape as Kevin Federline (slides opened copy of “Us Weekly” under desk) so this should work out about as well as other Redskin free agency acquisitions. At least Rogers is more apt to obey the rules of the road then Haynesworth.