MMA expert TF keeps writing, so we keep posting.  This time he tackles the coaching at his alma mater.

Pre-game speeches are nothing new to football games. For years, NFL viewers were subjected to countless tired pre-game sideline shots of a murderous Ray Lewis or a milquetoast Drew “Hair Club for Men” Brees attempting to fire up their teammates. However, thanks to the innovation of voyeuristic network execs, we now have more access to athletes than ever before — including inside the locker room where we can sometimes treat ourselves to the cathartic and spontaneous ramblings of eloquent legends like Ron Mexico Mike Vick.

“Hot route! Hot route!”

Anyway, not to take anything away from their effort, but for some reason ESPN continues to televise Mid-American Conference football games and employing Jesse Palmer. After a disastrous 2009 where they finished with a 1-11 record, Miami of Ohio bounced back in 2010 to finish 10-4, becoming the first team in conference history to go from double-digit losses to double-digit wins. The only person associated with Miami who was disappointed is perhaps the school’s former coach, Michael Haywood, who took the Pitt coaching job just this past December, right before the team won its 10th game.  Haywood is also likely just now learning about the Chris Rock school of avoiding domestic violence charges. Instead, Interim Coach Lance Guidry was charged with giving an, oh, I don’t know, let’s say “interesting” speech (as well as a short history lesson) to his team before they went out and beat powerhouse Middle Tennessee State 35-21.

It’s not exactly “Varsity Blues,” but it’s not bad, either. No wonder Miami of Ohio is often fondly referred to as “the Harvard of the Midwest” full of smart, and classy, teachers and students. (Adjusts ascot, opens The New Yorker, lights pipe, strikes Thai escort with a sock full of nickels).
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