Ten years ago, Derek Jeter was on top of the world — fresh off his fourth World Series title (and perhaps his best season), Jeter had just inked a ten year, $189.1M contract. Feeling flush, he purchased a fully-functional babe lair in the Trump World Tower for $12.6M.  The shortstop had it all: he was the King of New York with four rings, tens of millions of dollars, and the city wrapped around his finger.

And the rout was on.

God only knows how many lovely women he actually hosted at the Trump Tower penthouse, but over the years, one might guess Scarlett Johansson, Mariah Carey, Vanessa Minnillo, Miss Universe Lara Dutta, Jordana Brewster, Vide Guerra, Adriana Lima, and both of the Jessicas (Alba and Biel) all spent the night there once or twice. And those are just the ladies we know about (seriously, how many times did Jeter stumble home from Brother Jimmy’s after too many Strong Island Iced Teas™ with Hunter College coeds?). While most men would kill for one night with any of those women, Jeter dated them all.

Now, ten years (and countless one-night stands) later, Jeter is selling the place:

The future Baseball Hall of Famer bought a Trump World Tower penthouse condo in 2001 for $12.6 million.

The luxury unit sits 88 floors above the Big Apple (although technically, the space is only 70 stories up) and boasts four bedrooms and 5.5 baths.

Jeter, who signed a three-year deal worth a reported $51 million (with a one-year player option) with the Yankees this offseason, now wants $20 million for the Manhattan digs, which consists of 5,425 square feet of space.

After reading those three paragraphs, I became profoundly depressed.  I mean, how could a mere mortal like me ever aspire to step into the same realm of a bachelor idol like Jeter?  His bedroom must be straight out of Robert Evans’ house, right?

Wait!  That’s it?  Other than the stunning skyline views of the Greatest City in the World™, all he has is a flat screen and a mirror.  And those bed linens look like something straight out of the Bed, Bath, and Beyond “Dorm Room Collection.”  Hell, even I have a bigger television than that and I was unemployed as recently as 2006!

In all fairness, these days Jeter is a bit older with only a $51M contract and one woman on his arm (granted, she’s Esquire’s “Sexiest Woman Alive” but c’mon, he had both of the Jessicas!). As the article mentions, maybe Minka wasn’t a fan of the decor and wants a trendier spot in Soho or the Village. My guess?  He’ll do what all old, rich New Yorkers do: buy a farmhouse in Westchester and send his kids to Washington, DC-area colleges. Until then, I’ve got to raise $20M.

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