Five years and $78M. Forty million guaranteed. Two weeks after you benched him and called him slow and out of shape. Oh, and it’s 35-0 after 15 minutes and nine seconds. Philadelphia has five touchdowns and the Redskins have run 12 plays. PLAYS. For a quarterback that’s in his mid-thirties and probably wouldn’t get close to that much money as a free agent, this is yet another case of the Redskins bidding against themselves and losing.
If there ever was any indication that the inmates are still running the asylum in Washington, this is it. Danny Boy, do what you should have done six years ago. Please, rip up that contract before it’s finalized, fire the coaching staff and start over. Your team is a joke. You are a joke.
What is happening here? This photo was taken by NY Jets tight end Dustin Keller, apparently on the team plane back from Cleveland where the Jets just beat the Browns 26-20. Keller stuck it up on his Plixi account for us all to see and I am now forever grateful.
What is Sanchez doing here though? Is he doing his impersonation of De Niro or Brando? Is this just how Sanchez actually talks? It would really warm my heart a lil bit he did talk like this all the time and I have no idea why. Also, side note, why does he look so much like Adam Morrison here?
The most astounding thing about this picture, to me, is surprisingly not so much the raccoon hat that Sanchez is wearing, no, it is that the star quarterback of the New York Jets does not get to sit in first class. That is full on coach seating there. Sure he gets a whole row to himself, but c’mon Rex, hook the kid up.
I’d love to see the picture of first class with Rex Ryan and the whole coaching staff sipping on champagne and smoking Cuban cigars while lounging around in NY Jets logo’ed plush robes and slippers. That must be happening up there. It must.
Mark Sanchez, raccoon hat wearing, coach class sitting, man of the people.
Somewhere in the middle of this wrestling match an actual Muay Thai fight happens. Not one, but two tables are brought into the ring during this match. This is sport people.
Four minutes into injury time and Napoli’s Ezequiel Lavezzi has one more chance to steal a win against Cagliari. Listen to the announcer’s buildup and goal call. It may not be “GOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!” but it’s strong. Don’t forget to wait for Lavezzi’s celebration fail.
Liverpool fans probably wish the advertising boards cut Lavezzi in half. I’ll take the aborted somersault.
Let’s put one thing to rest before we start. This didn’t happen in Florida. Yes, we all thought the same thing when we read the headline but the Sunshine State get a pass this time.
Troy Holt, James Hill and Harvey Westmoreland lived on the same street and were the best of friends. Imagine King of the Hill if it took place in Lawrenceburg, KY instead of Arlen, TX. Everything was great until one fateful day when a lawn mower and a beard would destroy the friendship forever.
“My brother was cleaning out the stalls out there for Troy, you know, working for him. They called and wanted me to come around there and when I got there, I realized they were already drunk,” Westmoreland said.
Of all things to fight about, he said, punches started flying over a lawn mower.
“Troy offered to buy it from me for two hundred and fifty dollars. I paid twenty bucks for it. He thought I was trying to cheat him,” Westmoreland said. “One thing led to another, and before I knew it, there were knives and guns and everything just went haywire.”
“They cut my beard and forced me to eat it,” he said.
Westmoreland said Holt and Hill let them go, but threatened to kill them if they called police. That wasn’t enough to keep the two brothers from calling 911.
Wait. Why are we telling you about it? Let Harvey tell you about what went down at Troy’s stalls.
Hold up. Harvey bought the lawn mower for $20. Troy wanted to buy it for $250 but thought Harvey was cheating him. What the fuck? There’s something missing in this story besides a chromosome.
Why do I care how this started? All I know is that it ended with Harvey eating his own beard and that is brilliant. It used to be much longer and he was the envy of all the other guys on Willisburg Road. He’s a modern-day Samson. Then again maybe he’s at fault. A samurai would never let his hair get cut off while he’s still alive. There is no honor in Lawrenceburg.
Want the other side of the story? Read the comments section where Troy’s people come flying to his defense like Florida fans for Tim Tebow.
Who cares who’s at fault? All I want is some Taiwanese animation for this story. Who do I need to write to make that happen?
Five years and $78M. Forty million guaranteed. Two weeks after you benched him and called him slow and out of shape. Oh, and it’s 35-0 after 15 minutes and nine seconds. Philadelphia has five touchdowns and the Redskins have run 12 plays. PLAYS. For a quarterback that’s in his mid-thirties and probably wouldn’t get close to that much money as a free agent, this is yet another case of the Redskins bidding against themselves and losing.
