Did you miss out on Black Friday because you had to spend time with your family?  Busy day back at work keep you away from Cyber Monday?  Still in that food coma you entered into after that fourth helping of stuffing Thursday night around 2am?  Well, I’m here to rouse you from your slumber and let you know Thanksgiving is over and the real holiday season has begun.  With Hanukkah just days away and Christmas right around the corner, it’s time to do what Americans do best: buy stuff.

Well, here at the Deuce, we do the hard work so you don’t have to.  Here are five items every sports fan should have on their holiday list: Read the rest of this entry

Jack Spade said it best in the video for Boogie Down Productions’ Jack of Spades. “That’s my theme music. Every good hero should have some”. Javier Hernandez also known as Chicharito or Lil’ Pea is quickly becoming a legend to Manchester United fans after saving the team with his last-minute heroics in several games.

Salsa artist Choco Orta took an old Jose Feliciano song and changed the lyrics to come up with “Chico is the Man”.

This is bullshit. Everyone’s getting their own theme song. Big Daddy Kane has one. Everyone at the Deuce needs their own music. I’m calling Mannie Fresh to come up with the most ignorant shit that’ll make your head bounce. “M period Fresh comma, yo wife is my baby mama”? Fucking genius.

Ned Flanders doesn’t believe in homeowner’s insurance because he sees it as a form of gambling: an activity strictly verboten in the Bible.  For the rest of us, insurance is another way to mercilessly gouge you protect your investments on such things as a home, car, and Troy Polamalu’s hair.  Basically, all of the bad decisions you make in your life (sorry, new home buyers circa 2006!).  Well, now the stupid companies that tie their investments to the athletes that will surely fail them have a way out, too!  Read the rest of this entry

Cristiano Ronaldo is missing his calling. He’s wasting his diving talents in La Liga. He needs to be in Italy where diving is considered an art form. Take Bostjan Cesar for example.

The Chievo defender tackled Inter’s Samuelo Eto’o from behind during yesterday’s match. A free kick was given but that wasn’t enough for Eto’o. Check out his reaction after play resumed.

Cesar made the most of the headbutt as it didn’t look nearly as hard as Zidane’s. However Eto’o can bet on a three-game suspension at the least for his actions.

Fuck you, NFL. Seriously. How dare you? Remember when you had a Super Bowl in Detroit? Did you invite Motown legends to perform at the halftime show? No. You went abroad and got the Rolling Stones as if to mock the people that did it first and more importantly, right. We’re subjected to Faith Hill every Sunday night and now you go and pull the most heinous of musical crimes.

Forget the flags, F-15 fly-overs, troops and other “USA!” hoopla the NFL throws at you every week. They’re all lies. Subterfuge even. If the league really cared about this country, it wouldn’t make the Black Eyed Peas the halftime entertainment at Super Bowl XLV in February.

The expected choice would signify a generational shift for the NFL, which played it conservatively during the last six years with boomer rockers and mainstream arena stars Paul McCartney, the Rolling Stones, Prince, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, Bruce Springsteen and the Who. That seemed in direct response to Janet Jackson’s notorious breast-revealing “wardrobe malfunction” in 2004.

Why punish the whole country for the mistakes of the few? Does the NFL want kids to see grown women piss themselves like the drunk, homeless guy talking to himself at the Broadway/Lafayette stop?

If seeing Janet Jackson’s breast was bad, how does the NFL think this will go over? Isn’t it hard enough for young people to get a decent education these days without dumbing them down with idiotic lyrics? Why not have them chug lead paint while we’re at it? Most people will be lucky if they remember all six vowels at the end of the set.

You think that guy who shot up his TV after watching Bristol Palin on Dancing with the Stars was an anomaly? Just wait until the BEP play.

The NFL somewhat redeemed itself with the Prince and Bruce Springsteen halftime shows which were actually decent. They failed again with The Who. The producers of the CSI shows must have pictures of Roger Goodell with a goat. How does a purveyor of kiddie porn get into the country anyway? Research, my ass.

Justin Beiber and Willow Smith must not have been available but there’s plenty of time to force the millions watching to whip their hair. What’s Up With People doing these days?