First off, let me say that as a former Terp Idiot, I use that term with the utmost reverence and respect.  However, new University of Maryland Athletic Director Kevin Anderson has made it a priority to improve student behavior at sporting events.  Included in Anderson’s request: curbing the profanity-laden chants, explicit t-shirts and rioting.  With all due respect, Mr. Anderson: f-you.

See Mr. Anderson, what you, and most of America doesn’t understand, is that this isn’t a simple “kids being kids” situation.  Sure, it’s easy to watch a UMD-Duke basketball game and immediately get turned off by the mangling of the “Rock and Roll Part 2″ chorus.  But it’s bigger than that.  As someone who was actually at UMD when this era of fanaticism started, let me try to help you understand.

Over the last 15 years, UMD has made tremendous strides in trying to establish itself as one of the country’s best public institutions.  Located just a few miles outside of the most powerful city in the world, the school has still struggled with its image: UMD is the red-headed stepchild of universities in not just its own hometown, but its own conference as well.

The greatest comedic mind of our generation is a UMD grad. Duke has that Asian guy from the "Hangover." Advantage: UMD.

College Park is a small town located next to an under-developed part of U.S. Route 1 in one of the most dangerous counties in Maryland.  Improvement in College Park is measured by new ”upscale” fast food establishments and dive bars.  The Knox Boxes will never be mistaken for the beautiful town homes that line historic Foggy Bottom.  While Georgetown has Cafe Milano, a restaurant that the likes of George Clooney likes to inhabit when he’s in town, College Park settles for the country’s highest-grossing Chipotle.  Are you beginning to understand why we might have a tiny chip on our shoulder?

Look at our alumni: does Larry David seem like a guy who might be a little insecure?  Ever see our coaches?  One time when I was a freshman, a friend and I walked by Gary Williams at Cole Field House and exclaimed, “Hey, Coach!  Good luck this weekend.”  Know what Gary did?  He’s so nuts he wouldn’t even pull a Bob Knight.  He stormed right past us.  We were ghosts.  And our football coach was the angry obese coach before Mark Mangino ever stepped foot in a Repp’s Big and Tall.

All I’m trying to say is Maryland students spend the better part of their college careers being made to feel inferior.  When we’re not being compared to Georgetown, George Washington or American, we deal with the schmohawks (h/t LD) on Tobacco Road who deem themselves better educated (Duke) and at a cheaper price (UNC).

We have no legendary icon like Bobby Bowden, Coach K or Dean Smith.  There’s no charismatic Jim Valvano running our sidelines.  Our school isn’t known by one simple letter and our football field doesn’t have a badass nickname like “Death Valley” (although one might argue College Avenue has its seedier parts).  Thomas Jefferson didn’t found our school.  We don’t live in inbetween idyllic places like Durham or Chapel Hill; we’re in between Hyattsville and Beltsville.  We are the forgotten University.  Thus, we band together to form a group of students and alumni that don’t take a lot of crap and are more than willing to give it back.  You think you’re better than us?  Prove it.  And if you do, we’ll still have a better time at it than you will. 

So Mr. Anderson, you want to stop the profanity?  Make us feel the love.  Make us feel some pride.  Knock that chip off our shoulders.  Build us a new football stadium.  Get us back to a BCS game.  Show Gary some love.  Stop being a shill for Under Armour.  And for God’s sake, let the band play “Rock and Roll part 2″ again.  What can I say?  Old habits die hard.

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